Week 38 Bump OOTD

style

Still rolling along with little one on slow cook. Fall temperatures have brought some relief, but Summer seems to be making a comeback with some warm and sunny weather. This far along, dresses are my best friend.

Lots of dresses in my life, from top left, Anthropologie navy with white dots, Winners red and black mod flowers, psychedelic silky tunic from a clothing swap, and an oversized black and white spotted Zara dress shirt with peplum. All worn with some variation of black leggings and boots or jeans and boots. Never skip a chance to wear your res lipstick (if you’re into that sort of thing).

Baby Shower in Town

Indulge

Maternity leave has started, leaving time for a bit more writing and… waiting. So here come the throw-backs.  Allia and I were so blessed to have two gorgeous baby showers thrown in honour of our pending arrival. The first was summertime barbecue, with beautiful weather, beautiful friends and family. The second was at a friend’s stunning farmhouse Country Showers Bring Sweet … Horses!

We are so lucky to have a warm, wild and fiercely loving group of family and friends-who-are-like-family to help celebrate and guide us as we get ready to be mamas. This was shower number one of two and we already feel so spoiled… all smiles, all day. #thankyou!!! #lesbianmoms #babyshower #rainbowfamily

A backyard bbq, swimming pool and games for the kiddos was a hoot. The weather was cooperative and the decor was handmade by yours truly and my friend Lindsay.

My friends and family are a colourful bunch. My mom, in yellow, is over the moon about the upcoming arrival.

Whether poolside, or the country equivalent, being surrounded by loved ones helps the anticipation build and shows you what an incredible community is waiting to love your little one and support you on that journey.

Cheers! We are officially past-due.

Week 37 Bump OOTD

style

My last week at work flew by and I can hardly believe it’s maternity leave, starting today. I’m feeling bigger than ever, but I’ve definitely got the hang of planning outfits that still make me feel like I’ve got some personal style, as well as being comfortable – to whatever degree you can be comfortable when your bump is this big.

From top left-

1- I got this tiny floral print pink and tangerine blouse from a clothing swap, layered over a tank and paired with fall lips and nails. Simple gold jewelry.

2- This is a pre-pregnancy favorite: a gray and black striped oversize sweater, with a wide, long torso and fitted sleeves. Black jeans and a glass and silver necklace from Toronto designer Biko.

Bottom-

3- One of my very favourite sweaters, in a blanket print, maxi length with a hood and bell sleeves, from Free People. This necklace, a gift from my friend, who picked it up at H&M for a song, really takes things up a notch when layered with my summer slip dress in slate gray.

4- My wife is a fan of two things, the colour blush, and oversized, drapey tops. Fortunately this is perfect for third trimester. This blush tank is super soft and works as a base layer, under a floral kimono, with my everyday nameplate necklace from Seven Reasons and some swapped earrings.

5- This is my witchy outfit- A broad brimmed black hat, soft T-shirt style black sweater tunic, black leggings, black Blundstones, and a maxi length lace and fringe vest… Also black. I almost feel ‘not pregnant’ in this.

Maybe now that I’m on that leave, I will abandon all efforts to look pulled together. But probably not 😉

35 and 36 weeks

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Count it out! Just a few weeks to go and I’m not running out of ideas yet. But I’m ready, physically, for this to be done!

Left to right, top to bottom:

Thyme Maternity floral bump dress, I borrowed from a friend, worn with brown ankle boots, navy blue leggings, and a mask coloured duster jacket and gold geometric earrings.

Fab fit fun multicolour wrap scarf in orange fuchsia and purple, worn over a Zara XL purple V-neck tunic. With jeans and cute flats.

Black and gray 90s vintage dress, from my mother’s closet! This Maxi is stretch cotton and paired with a simple black necklace and slick ponytail, I looked way to pull together for someone who is basically wearing what feels like a nightgown.

Bottom row: Hoibo (local Toronto designer) black sleeveless swing dress, midi length, with matching nail polish and subtle purple gloss, paired with H&M tassel earrings, and a seven-year-old H&M lace top in aubergine, tucked up to accommodate the belly.

Mendocino sleeveless waffle turtleneck, tunic length, over dark denim with a feather pendant necklace and burgundy lips. Fall booties are a must, with low stack heel.

Next, from left to right:

Red and navy striped dress from market in the UK, layered over a white T-shirt with simple gold jewellery and flip-flops.

Kalijana designer dress, handed down from a friend’s neighbour, with asymmetrical hem and pockets. Necklace from The Likely General – worm with striped Espadrilles.

Bottom row: H&M blue and white printed dress with tie waist.

Colamoon blue tank dress with Stevie-inspired fringes maxi vest. Tassel necklace from H&M, With my new Fab Fit Fun faux leather carryall.

Striped Zara High low hem tunic with ruffled bottom. Necklace by White Feather Designs. Paired with dark denim.

OOTD The Orchard, After Chekhov

style

Spent an awesome day at the theatre with my lady – saw a production of The Orchard, after Chekhov, a great post-colonial piece. And also enjoyed Grand Hotel and Of Men and Marriage ( all part of the Shaw Festival’s 2018 season).

Rocking heatwave approved palazzo pants and tank (H&M), hat (Lack of Colour), striped layering piece (Mendocino) and shoes from Call It Spring (5 seasons ago). Allia on the other hand looked smashing, and/but was literally wearing an entire outfit identical to a 60 year old man also in attendance. And I love her for that. She is my own personal #manrepeller

Hats off to end of Summer Style! Yet, the heatwave persists.

Way to go, Disney? Progress: yay or nay?

Open Letters

The debates continue. Disney has announced a queer character (he will be effeminate and campy) in their upcoming film Jungle Cruise.

This has caused controversy and not just because Disney is expected to be a sexless, sanitized and heterocentric monolith that repackages stories for young folks, and the young at heart, in ways that make us all feel good about things like gender roles (damsels in distress), colonialism (Pocahontas) and racial stereotypes (Lion King‘s hyenas, not to mention Scar’s effeminate villainy). This new Disney film’s gay character will be played by a straight actor.

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British comedian Jack Whitehall – Screenshot from Comedy Central

Much to the chagrin of the blogosphere… people are upset, while others are upset that people are upset. Are we taking it too far? “They are ACTING” or “this is getting ridiculous,” people say. The comment section of a Refinery29 article about the casting choice is chock full of dissent, both for and against the casting.

These debates are going on amongst liberal people who agree that there should be gay characters and people of colour represented, but some seem miffed that these same communities have opinions about the manner in which their community is represented – and the oblique messages sent through these casting decisions.

While I agree that acting is acting (you can play a murderer without being one, thank goodness), people are missing the key issue:

Many talented queer actors and POC are overlooked, shut out and/or marginalized in mainstream roles, then when a perfect opportunity to be cast, believably, in a role arises, it’s given to someone who already has access to the roles these marginal actors may be barred from. Having a person of colour play a role written specifically for that identity is one side of the coin; we should have Asian actors staring in Crazy Rich Asians… this is progress. I cannot wait to see this wild, salacious book come to life on the big screen.

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The cast of Crazy Rich Asians at the premiere on August 7, 2018. Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

And there is something to be said for actors who make the call to sidestep a project because they feel that the issues of representation are problematic; famously Amandla Stenberg stepped away from Black Panther because (according to her) she didn’t want to take up space that provides needed opportunity for darker skinned black actors and would jeopardize the authenticity of representing African identity, for and by African and African American actors and citizens.

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Getty Images

Amandla talked about shadeism and why she didn’t feel comfortable occupying space that doesn’t belong to her. It was refreshing. Seeing her speak on this subject at TIFF Bell Lightbox in Toronto last year was such a breath of fresh air.

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(Shauna Mazenes/Her Campus Ryerson).

However, many queer and trans performers don’t have access to ‘straight’ roles (the bulk of the roles available) but are then also excluded when their own identity is up for grabs. It’s a double loss for them. And while representation and visibility are important, it’s difficult to be told that your community is being represented… just not by people within it.

Yes, straight actors can play queer, and Hollywood can do what it pleases, but the same opportunity is not given – in as broad a way – to those who identify within a minority and being told to ‘be happy with what we get’ is not the same as listening to voices from within that community.

This is a case of the people having spoken… and continuing to speak. It is a much-needed dialogue where those with the most prevalent voices might need to sit down and let those within their own communities do a little more of the talking, at least until it’s clear that the stories we are telling must reflect more than just a narrow view of what it’s like to take up space in this world.