Ghost Busting 

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In Monday, I had the pleasure of seeing a preview of the new Ghostbusters film. People (read: sexist people) need to shut up about this remake ‘ruining’ the original. This film was so much fun. The cast is superb and it was funny, crass and tongue in cheek. I was really entertained and that is what a good film should do. Go see it!  

 For reference, about forty people showed up with proton packs and full GB suits.    
Keep your peepers peeled for cameos by the original cast. When you have their blessing, plus some great unsexy acting by Chris Hemsworth, you know you will  enjoy yourself.    Fantastic ensemble and some truly weird moments. 
 

Summer to do – day 1

DIY, Indulge

A project a day keeps the lazy away. Don’t get me wrong. I love a good party.      

    
   
This was just another Monday.  The official start of summer, post Pride. 

But what I’m most looking forward to is getting shit done. Today’s project: rearrange the furniture in the master bedroom and switch to summery linens. Sweep out all the dusty corners, flip the mattress and wash the curtains. 

   
    

Trinity bellwoods flea And the rage room

Art, Indulge

What a great way to spend the day, having a brunch with our wedding photographer to pick final albums,  at  Toronto’s The Northwood. Then we headed to the Trinity Bellwoods Flea – a mix of food and handmade items, hosted in a variety of venues while the weather is a little chilly, until it makes its way back to the name-sake park – Trinity Bellwoods. We enjoyed oysters from ‘Island Oysters’ – guided skillfully by the founder of this niche company.

  

We also checked out the handmade jewellery by Laborde. Loved the weight of these chains, especially the ones made from re-purposed brass watch links
I love being able to window shop, while my oysters get shucked. The coziness of the market means you have everything at your fingertips (plus a bar with signature cocktails like spiced cider, bellinis and other yummies). As always, we were out to support YYZ Imports.

Picked up some quirky plates at Lousongmade. Who can resist a delicate saucer with a saucy saying? “La-di-fucking da!” or “Smash the Patriarchy” or “Fuck that shit”. Or, that yellow edged plate (below) with a sweet little bird, chirping “Don’t be a tit.”

 
Finishing off with some homemade soup, organic and vegan options available in mason jars and hot sauces (great for hostess gifts) on our way out the door (N0.7 hotsauce!)

Leather and wool coat, burgundy tunic, bralette and White Feather Designs enamel necklace. Check out more of Bre’s gorgeous work at her website. Next we went for daily soup at a friends place. He has started up an intriguing tradition of having open doors on weekends with noon, 2 pm and 4 pm drop in times to share a meal with folks. He invites couples, singles, people and tells them when to show up. The pot of soup starts at the beginning of the day and feeds the community of friends who arrive. He and his partner sit and chat, eating a little with each new group and getting to know people. Genius. We ended up talking about the Anglican church, gay pride, repealing the buggery laws in Jamaica, documentaries and lecturing at Canadian universities. We may need to start a daily soup of our own!

We ended up, next, at a surprise for me; I sprained my ankle the day before my birthday and apparently said, ‘I just want to break some shit’. Wish granted. I was taken to a rage room, where we blasted some Eminem and 90s tunes, while armed with a crow bar and baseball bats, against a variety of foe – a horse statuette, some large bottles, ashtrays, china and… my favourite, two printers. All my tech-angst was released. It’s way more fun than you’d guess. I recommend the ‘couples package’ from Battlesports Inc. Here

 This is apparently great for recently broken up or divorced folks. 

Suited up. 

In flight. 

 The debris.  

Almost last… we had an impromptu dinner at Stazione Central. Delicious Italian fare.

Then we went to celebrate a friends new Canadian citizenship…. a perfect day!

StyleSaVie Does NYC – day two

Foodie, Indulge

   

We got up on our first full day, ready to walk my wife to the HBO head offices. We enjoyed a nice breakfast at the hotel and greeted a day of pleasantly, unexpectedly mild weather. A floral print maxi dress over leggings and a slip, with a brimmed hat was a great choice, easy and comfortable for a day of walking.

Out on the street we soaked in the lights, iconic buildings and streets full of people. The hustle and bustle was pretty amazing. Toronto is similar, but the famous places and faces in NYC made me feel like I had ‘arrived’ and even a brisk morning walk felt like an event.
     

Now that I know what I’m looking for, I have started to see ads for Vinyl  everywhere!

 

I loved seeing how life was just teeming amongst all that concrete and metal.

  

Victoria’s Secret … on three levels… was a sight to behold. I asked one of the staff, “so, is there a real ‘Victoria’?”

“Victoria? Victoria, who?”

“This is Victoria’s Secret. Is there an actual ‘Victoria’?”

She seemed very confused. However, I was enamored of some bralettes, found a $168 dress marked down to $9.99, and spent the day shopping – while Al was doing interviews. Shopping is a close second to interviewing Juno Temple and all the other folks doing press for the new series.
  
  

Fancy-pants changerooms! Next, I headed to what was possibly the most beautiful H&M I have ever seen. The multi-level store was setting the bar high. Poor Toronto locations!

   

I picked up some amazing mock neck printed blouses, with ballerinas and 70s prints, in navy and mustard. Last on the list for today was Macy’s, which we don’t have in Canada.

I checked out the various departments and was thrilled to find a big ‘additional 40% off sale items’ in the BCBG area. Also… the changerooms. There were lighting options for ‘office,’ ‘daylight’ and ‘evening’. Wow. Such a great idea. I played here for a little while, and ended up buying a high-waist black tulle skirt with gold swiss-dots, and a long blue evening dress (’cause every year I go to prom and… there are always weddings to attend).

I have always loved playing dress-up! Changing the filter lights on the changeroom mirror:

    

  

This dress will make me very happy come summer. With a few alterations, I’ll be set.
 The magic maker:

  

After an exhausting morning of shopping, I headed back to the hotel … to get ready for a late lunch and some journal writing.

  Allia joined me back at the hotel and we went to Costas for Arepas! Yumm, yummy, yumm. We wanted a quick bite before heading over to the red carpet for the Vinyl Premiere.

   

         Strolling before the red carpet. My mom’s vintage coat was an impossibly perfect choice.

   

Allia getting ready for the carpet: Looking fly, as ever.
      

Behind the velvet rope.

 

Enter the stars: Juno Temple, bubbly, sweet and more than a little sexy. She looked very seventies in a silver plunging gown and tiara. I’m definitely biased, but it’s safe to say that my wife is an amazing interviewer; her questions are real, content-driven and original. Watching people respond to her is such a treat. Our neighbours on the carpet were from Australia and often pushed Allia to reel in big names who might otherwise not have stopped in our area. It helps that she is beautiful and has a big beaming smile (and cool hair).

  

I was very psyched to see some up-and-comers, like Emily Tremaine, and some familiar faces, like Pitch Perfect’s bitch-supreme of ‘Das Sound Machine: Birgitte Hjort Sørensen

     

Mini-Quaid, Sopranos and Glee alumnus, and faces you just know are famous.

  

  

And some who need no introduction: Glenn Close. Close up.

  

This actor is so vibrant and I can’t wait to watch more of the series to catch more of her! (Susan Heyward)

What it really looks like back there:
  

The cherry on my night’s sundae: Olivia Wilde. Yes, she is that beautiful. And her character in the show is strong, complex and provocative.

And of course no show starring Mick Jagger’s son, naked in the first episode, would be complete without the proud papa, in this case A Rolling Stone: Mick himself.   
To be honest, I was less awestruck by him than I was by Olivia Wilde. At one point the camera shooting B-role got my ‘omgeeeeeee’ face as I watched Olivia Wilde… just being Olivia Wilde. She was mesmerizing. And watching Allia interview her can only be described as hotness-ping-pong.

All of this, of course, required a great dinner to end things off. So we went to the Mermaid and Oyster Bar.
      

We were treated to free wine and beer, just for having a minor wait. Totally our pleasure. We shared oysters, naturally, and their lobster trio, which was delicious! Because they don’t offer dessert, but ‘feel mean’ for not offering dessert – every patron gets to finish their meal with homemade chocolate pudding. Fine by me!
  
  

I was strangely charmed by their fortune telling fish. Depending on how they curl in your hands, they give clues to your state of mind and heart… “Passionate” seems about right.

We ended the evening with a quick tour of the queer scene: Henrietta Hudson had a big dance party and Boots and Saddles was drag, drag and stand-up.

And for good measure: take just one more look. Seriously.

  What better way to end it than with this? And our trip was only just getting started. ‘Til then, sweet winter dreams and stay smiling.

Style Sa Vie Does NYC – sneak peek (Mick Jagger, anyone?)

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I’ve been here less than two days and already it has been a trip to remember. More later, but for now:        

  

 Sharing air with these folks was pretty awesome  and watching my wife interview Olivia Wilde was hotness ping pong.  
    
    
  The bitch from Pitch Perfect was a perfect sweetheart.  This night was a pretty sweet appetizer to our seafood feast at The Mermaid, NYC   

And my wife got so many compliments on the red carpet that it made me feel like she  was the celeb.   

A dragged out NYE

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For New Year’s Eve, 2016, we pulled out all the stops and tried our hand at drag makeovers. You what? Yes. We did. And we have the video to prove it. But before all that, it’s important to give a bit of context, a dash of history and a disclaimer. As my previous entry alludes, I’m all about respectful emulation, not mockery. And don’t even get me started on cultural appropriation, privilege and oppression. Heavy, right? Don’t worry, I lighten up shortly.

I’m not a straight man, dressing as a _________ (insert heterocentric, homophobic, offensive term) and laughing at my own cleverness for putting on a costume and pretending, at the expense of that marginalized identity, that I’m hilarious and know what it means to be part of a disenfranchised, minority (if that even occurs to people who culturally appropriate without considering the legacy of oppression).

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I am a queer woman, in an interracial marriage, who has been living out loud and proud, since I came out in the early years of high school. I love performance, sequins and makeup. And I love a challenge. I am in perpetual awe of the talent, pure and true ‘hard work’ and imagination of queens and kings, who help us to see ourselves anew, who entertain, push our boundaries and make us believe in magic. And make it look so effortless. Let me tell you: it is not easy. But it sure is fun!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFff3Ue4tPg

Check out our video, A Dragged Out New Year’s Eve, for just a taste of the hijinx we got up to, and read on for links to other people, doing it well and doing it better than we ever could.

Drag. A parody of a parody of the feminine. Very meta… Drag is an art form that I’ve always loved. Judith Butler (gender theorist) asks, if a man can portray the qualities of stereotypical femininity, making a copy of a copy with no original, how real is gender?  She states, “All gender is performance.” Thus, drag problematizes the whole idea that there is an original at all, or anything inherently natural woman-ness. As a queer gal, I’ve always been interested in binaries – their limits, perceived, but fake, shifting, but seemingly rigid – especially in the collective mind and pop culture.

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A whole tray of supplies… and we still, clearly, didn’t have all the essential tools.

Many fabulous folks are exploring these ideas. Kate Bornstein , and her text Gender Outlaw, completely opened my eyes to nuances of gender that I’d never considered. My experience was limited to gender bias, misogyny in the queer community and my own issues associated with being labeled ‘femme’ – feeling invisible in my LGBTQ world. Judith Butler, of course, is a pioneer in the field of gender studies. Documentaries like Paris Is Burning and Drag Becomes Him, featuring Jinx Monsoon, explore past and contemporary icons of drag culture. Recently, the Youtube channel Broadly featured “Can’t Drag Us Down: London’s Female Queens”- a short piece about women, “lady queens” that raises issues about gender exclusion within the male-dominated realm of female impersonation. So much to think about. The video description reads:

“Drag has been a gay man’s art for decades, but women can be queens, too. While women have always existed in the drag scene as the subject of imitation, in London, female-identified performers are taking center stage and performing in exaggerated tropes of femininity to upend conventional notions of gender.

Lady queens, however, are not yet fully accepted in the drag community; some gay men in the scene question whether those who are female-identified have the right to compete and perform next to their male counterparts. … redefining its heritage, and proving that drag is a genderless art form.”

Here is a photo-journey of our night, beginning (of course) with before and after shots. Cheers to a new year, full of fun and endless possibilities.

BEFORE
  

AFTER 

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———————————————————-

And the night just got better from there…

We sent a photo to friends as the ball dropped. “Who is this?” some people asked. This look reminds me of Wilma Flintstone…meets Lucy. My mom always said I was dramatic.

I just woke up like this. We enjoyed Pink Palomas and mulled wine, cupcakes and a cheese platter. We are all about balance. Try these!

Fuel for our fun-filled evening. Inspired by… the ingredients we had in the house.

Let’s not forget the arsenal of fake hair that was on-hand… and which became a very popular place for our cats to try and make a cozy spot for themselves.

We each tried on a few different looks.

Laughing at yourself is highly recommended. Her name: Angel Baby.

 

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Meet Ivanna Trink. Sometimes she likes to pretend she’s a spy. She likes to change up her look.

Besties? Felicia Fierce and Ivanna Trink. We had a whole whack of wigs to choose from. And sparkly outfits.

Correspondingly, we had a gay old time.

I hear duck-face is ‘out’, but nobody tells this bitch what to do.

IMG_1362

Regular makeup sometimes gets lost in translation in a photograph. Apparently the best way to prep for a really cool filter application is to put a thousand pounds of makeup on your face.

Gotta hand it to the true queens. This look was a hot mess; my glue-over-eyebrow technique was coming apart at the seams almost instantly. I was horrified by how quickly my own eyebrows mutinied beneath the layers of glue stick, blown upward and sealed via hairdryer. They were fully visible, though glossy and silver. Making yourself an entirely new eye shape is no easy feat.

No evening is complete without a pre-midnight group selfie. We were pretty impressed with ourselves. We put Kylie and Kim…and whatever the rest of their names are, to shame with our overdrawn lips and contouring.

And this reveal features our fave friend “Nik James”.

If I’d had the foresight to plan it, these would be our holiday portraits and cards to our loved ones. Almost as campy as our actual wedding invites.

Happy New Year: From Us.

We wish you love…

Sweetness…

Fierceness.

Time with friends and family.

 And the wonderful gift of self-love, empathy, patience, open-mindedness … and the ability to laugh at yourself.

Happy 2016!

 

 

Eat, drink and be merry… Still 

Foodie, Indulge

Let’s work backwards: the best way to start your Boxing Day is with a yummy yogurt parfait. 

   
Start with Apple Butter in the bottom, top it with Greek yogurt, fresh pineapple, pecans and a sprinkle of cinnamon. 

Last night, we followed up a glorious holiday dinner with a look at the lights.    

This amazing display had a flock of passers by stopped to admire the festive cheer. I love their discreet, minimalist approach to the season. Big points for their spirit!

    
Leaving our friends ‘ place after a holiday meal. 

Sticky toffee pudding was the highlight of the evening … Other than family and friends, of course. 

    Potluck Chriatmas feast: sweet potato, Turkey, stuffing, mashed potato, tabbouleh and green bean gremolata. 
 Classic Christmas. 
   
Back to the beginning.  With my lovely love. 

   
Merry Christmas! 

Friday is Gay Night 

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well, not every Friday. Or, in my case not just Friday. For some of us, last night was the first official outing for queer employees…A get together to meet and greet, and build networks of support. Turns out that shared experiences make for fast friendships. 

    
 We met at Toronto’s D. W. Alexander bar and ate, drank and made merry.   

   

  

 Then we collected more fabulous friends at Sambucas for dinner and ended our night at Crews and Tangos (which just so happens to be the first gay bar I ever went to, as a newly minted sixteen year old lesbian, half a lifetime ago). Nothing beats a good drag show and a room full of people belting out Whitney Houston together. 

  
 
   
   
Cheers queers! Here’s to all the progress of two decades, where new friends, gay and allied (all diverse, but unified by those LGBTQ colours) can all find comfort in great conversations, a glass of something delicious and a whole lot of sequins. 

Ho-ho-hipster holidays 

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There is no room for shame during the holidays, not about all the eggnog and cookies and belt loosening and certainly not about being a bit of a hipster.

Embrace it. I did. Cause who isn’t a bit of a Hipster at Hallmark moments? And who’s above a little self-deprication when it turns out we all have a bit of a penchant for ironic holiday choices (this might tie in pretty well with all those ironic fashion choices)?

Signs you might be a seasonal hipster:

You’ve Instagramed your holiday decor…  

your taxidermy is wearing a Santa hat and your pets have ugly sweaters. Your air plant vignette has elves hidden in it. You’re on Pinterest, regularly looking for updates for your Christmas style (* this could also qualify you as several other subcategories of Christmas celebrant, see Martha Stewart-Adherent, Overachieving Mom,… )


You’ve attempted,  or resurrected, some elborate holiday ritual/ tradition that you’ll tell your friends about. 

– cutting down your own tree, Christmas baking and themed dinners. You’ve organized a cookie swap, a Secret Santa party, a bad-Santa re-gifting party and an ‘Orphan’ party/brunch/dinner. You are also attending a Hanukkah party.

Your culinary attempts are all VERY tongue in cheek 

-beer can Turkey, making eggnog from scratch and elaborate sides like candied bacon and …. Well, you get the picture.


You own several ugly Christmas sweaters and don’t just wear them for the official party.

– same goes for onesies.

Your ornaments are carefully selected from craft breweries, handmade markets and children… Or look like they were. 

  

 the colour scheme is either effortlessly perfect or matches not at all. Bonus points for terrariums, carnival lights and woodland creatures.

All your wrapping is fair trade, local or handmade and your cards are from local artisans/ artist. You support local. Obviously. (and that’s a good thing).

definitely on recycled paper. Probably small batches, and likely to have moustaches, cats or pop culture references. Also featuring inside jokes. Like these wicked designs from Flakes Paperie (I just discovered these fine folks at the One of a Kind Show. You should check out their AMAZING stock on their website! I got my wife a few of these cards for upcoming occasions. They are beautiful and will put a huge smile on your face).

  

Last on your list, but definitely somewhere on your list, between being awesome and surprising your nearest and dearest with whimsical, skillfully curated gifts and goodies, you’re also making the world a better place, so you’ve purchased a goat, chickens or something wonderful for someone less fortunate… like the ones available here.

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That’s something to feel good about.

So, how hip are you? Share more signs in the comments below 

Xo Ali