One of my favourite sites, Domaine.com, had some on point ‘suggestions’ for making 2016 a standout year. Among their list of Thirty Resolutions Everyone Can Try were a few that really resonated:
1. Drink more champagne (we know it’s good for your health) and we can come up with at least 22 reasons why you should always have it on hand.Make coffee at home instead of dropping dollars on an artisanal blend every day.
Scratch that, I’ll enjoy the beautiful space I’ve made for myself and stop wasting current joy in the search for future ‘perfection’ – because we all know that the perfect home is just one scan of Pinterest away from the next impulse to redecorate.
But, while these all sound like things I’ll probably do… I don’t want to set myself up with any more fake expectations and hypothetical ‘to do’ lists that will add stress, or guilt (ultimately), rather than add joy and well-being. I hate being told what to do, even by myself.
Instead, I’ll embrace listening to myself, my gut, my emotions and my instincts. I will stop eating when I’m satisfied (thanks, Alanis); I’ll dance like no one is watching, and like everyone is watching, because I know I’m a performer, but I’ll be doing it for myself. I’ll take pole-fit classes, because it’s fun … and taking care of myself should be a pleasure. I will try to improve my spinal health – because you only get one of those, and having a sore back and shoulders makes me cranky. Proactivity is the word of 2016. I will say now not later, unless I really don’t feel like it. I will try to let more things slide, except the things I really care about. I will be nice to myself and let all those good vibes reverberate out into the relationships around me.
For New Year’s Eve, 2016, we pulled out all the stops and tried our hand at drag makeovers. You what? Yes. We did. And we have the video to prove it. But before all that, it’s important to give a bit of context, a dash of history and a disclaimer. As my previous entryalludes, I’m all about respectful emulation, not mockery. And don’t even get me started on cultural appropriation, privilege and oppression. Heavy, right? Don’t worry, I lighten up shortly.
I’m not a straight man, dressing as a _________ (insert heterocentric, homophobic, offensive term) and laughing at my own cleverness for putting on a costume and pretending, at the expense of that marginalized identity, that I’m hilarious and know what it means to be part of a disenfranchised, minority (if that even occurs to people who culturally appropriate without considering the legacy of oppression).
I am a queer woman, in an interracial marriage, who has been living out loud and proud, since I came out in the early years of high school. I love performance, sequins and makeup. And I love a challenge. I am in perpetual awe of the talent, pure and true ‘hard work’ and imagination of queens and kings, who help us to see ourselves anew, who entertain, push our boundaries and make us believe in magic. And make it look so effortless. Let me tell you: it is not easy. But it sure is fun!
Check out our video, A Dragged Out New Year’s Eve, for just a taste of the hijinx we got up to, and read on for links to other people, doing it well and doing it better than we ever could.
Drag. A parody of a parody of the feminine. Very meta… Drag is an art form that I’ve always loved. Judith Butler (gender theorist) asks, if a man can portray the qualities of stereotypical femininity, making a copy of a copy with no original, how real is gender? She states, “All gender is performance.” Thus, drag problematizes the whole idea that there is an original at all, or anything inherently natural woman-ness. As a queer gal, I’ve always been interested in binaries – their limits, perceived, but fake, shifting, but seemingly rigid – especially in the collective mind and pop culture.
A whole tray of supplies… and we still, clearly, didn’t have all the essential tools.
Many fabulous folks are exploring these ideas. Kate Bornstein , and her text Gender Outlaw, completely opened my eyes to nuances of gender that I’d never considered. My experience was limited to gender bias, misogyny in the queer community and my own issues associated with being labeled ‘femme’ – feeling invisible in my LGBTQ world. Judith Butler, of course, is a pioneer in the field of gender studies. Documentaries like Paris Is Burning and Drag Becomes Him, featuring Jinx Monsoon, explore past and contemporary icons of drag culture. Recently, the Youtube channel Broadly featured “Can’t Drag Us Down: London’s Female Queens”- a short piece about women, “lady queens” that raises issues about gender exclusion within the male-dominated realm of female impersonation. So much to think about. The video description reads:
“Drag has been a gay man’s art for decades, but women can be queens, too. While women have always existed in the drag scene as the subject of imitation, in London, female-identified performers are taking center stage and performing in exaggerated tropes of femininity to upend conventional notions of gender.
Lady queens, however, are not yet fully accepted in the drag community; some gay men in the scene question whether those who are female-identified have the right to compete and perform next to their male counterparts. … redefining its heritage, and proving that drag is a genderless art form.”
Here is a photo-journey of our night, beginning (of course) with before and after shots. Cheers to a new year, full of fun and endless possibilities.
BEFORE
AFTER
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And the night just got better from there…
We sent a photo to friends as the ball dropped. “Who is this?” some people asked. This look reminds me of Wilma Flintstone…meets Lucy. My mom always said I was dramatic.
I just woke up like this. We enjoyed Pink Palomas and mulled wine, cupcakes and a cheese platter. We are all about balance. Try these!
Fuel for our fun-filled evening. Inspired by… the ingredients we had in the house.
Let’s not forget the arsenal of fake hair that was on-hand… and which became a very popular place for our cats to try and make a cozy spot for themselves.
We each tried on a few different looks.
Laughing at yourself is highly recommended. Her name: Angel Baby.
Meet Ivanna Trink. Sometimes she likes to pretend she’s a spy. She likes to change up her look.
Besties? Felicia Fierce and Ivanna Trink. We had a whole whack of wigs to choose from. And sparkly outfits.
Correspondingly, we had a gay old time.
I hear duck-face is ‘out’, but nobody tells this bitch what to do.
Regular makeup sometimes gets lost in translation in a photograph. Apparently the best way to prep for a really cool filter application is to put a thousand pounds of makeup on your face.
Gotta hand it to the true queens. This look was a hot mess; my glue-over-eyebrow technique was coming apart at the seams almost instantly. I was horrified by how quickly my own eyebrows mutinied beneath the layers of glue stick, blown upward and sealed via hairdryer. They were fully visible, though glossy and silver. Making yourself an entirely new eye shape is no easy feat.
No evening is complete without a pre-midnight group selfie. We were pretty impressed with ourselves. We put Kylie and Kim…and whatever the rest of their names are, to shame with our overdrawn lips and contouring.
And this reveal features our fave friend “Nik James”.
If I’d had the foresight to plan it, these would be our holiday portraits and cards to our loved ones. Almost as campy as our actual wedding invites.
Happy New Year: From Us.
We wish you love…
Sweetness…
Fierceness.
Time with friends and family.
And the wonderful gift of self-love, empathy, patience, open-mindedness … and the ability to laugh at yourself.
What are you doing New Year’s Eve? Doing drag makeovers of course. A group of lgbtq folks and allies are coming over for a campy evening of makeup tutorials and makeovers. I will have cocktails and a tickle trunk of dress up items to complete the effect and yea, there will be lip synching … Stay tuned for a recap of the adventure.
While I frown heavily at the idea of straight people going out as Ms Jenner for Halloween, I am excited to pay tribute and celebrate one of the most vibrant parts of my community and to put the expert tips of you-tubers to good use. If drag techniques can transform true queens … I can’t wait to see what will happen to me. And perhaps round two will see us take on our Drag King personas.
For more interesting ideas, check out Broadly’s female drag queen video or read Kate Borstein’s Gender Outlaw and Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble.
I love a room with a sense of identity, quirk and a lush vibe. Here are some visuals that really fit the bill. Rooms can definitely be sexy. What room or corner of your home inspires you and makes you feel transported?
These are spaces and feelings that I aspire to, plus a few New Year’s resolutions thrown in for good measure.
Serenity… now. Wouldn’t we all love a home that transports us and soothes us, stimulates us and rocks us to sleep? Something full of texture and contradictions. Something that feels timeless and makes us live in the present. In the New Year, my goal is to appreciate the beauty around me, to take comfort in the refuge of family, friends and home. To say ‘yes’ more. And ‘no’ more. And to floss regularly.
Happy New Year and cheers to a beautiful year ahead.