Spring Fever Dreams

When the weather gets teasingly beautiful, I start to fantasize about throwing open the windows and getting the yard ready to move life outdoors. After a Friday night dinner party, and the end of last week hitting 8 degrees Celsius (which, in Canada, means that people were out on patios) I start to dream; one day, when I grow up (because phrases like that still make sense at 33), I will have an outdoor space that makes me feel like I’m on vacation. A girl can fantasize, right? What landscaping or outdoor living spaces make you salivate? Here’s a peek into my house-porn collection (courtesy of Houzz.com)

A spot to swing, lazily, under the shelter of trees

Lunch and hangouts, ironic signage, and plenty of seating for friends

Whimsical and eclectic with statement indoor features brought outdoors

Covered seating, casual landscaping and lanterns to light the way.

Does it get more luxurious than custom lighting, turquoise water and a swanky area to chill, in your own backyard?

Cozy, and practically a Canadian pre-requisite, a fire pit, lots of greenery and comfortable seating

With a view from indoors, this courtyard keeps luxury front and center, recliners inviting you to take a moment for yourself, perhaps to contemplate ‘how did I get to be so lucky?’

Hip, casual and cool, but cheeky in its effortlessness, this bright spot is just begging for foodie guests and an al-fresco lunch

Again, with the lights, the overhanging architecture and comfy seating. Trying too hard? Hardly.

Truly the space of my dreams. Fair skin protected by custom shade panels and lighting for evening, … perfect view of the pool

This space has the best of all things. Hammock. Fire pit. Seating. Dining area. Greenery. I’m in love.

Sensing a theme? The sitting and dining areas with shade-cover, romantic lighting and water views. I’m pretty sure the cabana has room for guests.

If I, for some reason, found myself in an arid climate, this mod-zen look would keep me house happy.

Vacation vibe? Check. What’s behind curtain number one?

Obviously, every dream home has its own bocci court.

Sigh.

Sweet dreams, folks. Houzz.com is a Pinterest users wet dream.

Friday Night with Cairo

style

Heading out tonight to see Cairo’s show, featuring the talented Caitlin Grieve et al. I was lucky enough to have her lend us her expertise on the violin for our wedding and can’t wait to see them take the stage at Lee’s Palace for the album release of “A History of Reasons.”

What do you wear to a pre-party and concert for a band described as “orchestral alt-pop,” that reminds me of a freezing landscape thawing in the sun and stars that come out in fast-forward through time-lapse photography? Something hard and cool, but also warm and sweet, with something that could be mistaken for an icicle or quartz crystal. Check them out, or visit their Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Wearecairo

Calum Slingerland, for Exclaim.ca writes, “Toeing a line between scintillating pop and subdued folk, the precise rhythm section and reverb-laced guitar work are only made richer by the inclusion of Caitlin Grieve’s violin.” Amen, sister.

So what do you wear to an Icelandic (for the weather) folk-indie-orchestra. A little something like this: warm and whimsical, with a little ‘bleak’ and ‘rugged’.

Tough enough for a rock show, cozy and femmed-up. What is your go-to outfit for a night show?

Do products really work ‘as advertised? First Up: Rimmel

Indulge, style

Over the last little while quite a few ads for foundation and BB creams have caught my eye. Given that ‘skin that looks great’ after a full day of work is my elusive product gap, and my long hours, dirty, dry and poorly lit work environment adds its own challenge, a good foundation is something that an effective ad can really get me salivating over.

But each ad claims, while showcasing a beautiful face, that I’m going to have amazing results. Let’s see.

RIMMEL

Georgia May Jagger looks pretty flawless. Rimmel has quite a few products that promise to get me there. I went to the local make-up aisle to check the effectiveness of the goods.

Clean Finish Matte Foundation says I’ll look 100% poreless. The coverage is pretty good (shade 120 ivory is a good match), but the poreless-ness is more hype than fact. My skin looks good, but not ‘perfect.’ The Fix & Perfect Primer seems more about wish-fulfillment than reality, and doesn’t really amplify the product. If I’m using a lightweight foundation, I don’t necessarily want the added step of a whole extra layer in order to make the foundation do what it’s supposed to do. Skip this. The Lasting Finish 25 Hour Foundation (shade 100 – ivory) has me curious. I have it on the left side of my face and we’ll wait and see if, after going to dance rehearsal for 2 hours tonight I’m still getting the ‘extended perfect finish’. Both sides of my face seem more even, obviously, than pre-foundation, but the Clean Finish seems to smooth the skin while drawing more attention to the fine hairs on my face. Around my eyes I tried the Match Perfection Skin Tone Adapting Concealer; a little goes a long way and the finish is brightening and even. Of the first three, none stand out as a clear front-runner, but at $7-12 (on sale) they are a cheap everyday-wear make-up. Lastly, my chin got a dab of the Stay Matte Liquid Mousse Foundation (Lightweight Shine Control in 100 Ivory). This one felt the best on my skin; it improved the evenness and texture, while also concealing small blemishes and brightening. The matte quality didn’t make skin look cake-y or dull.

The Overwhelmed Brain

Indulge

I’ve been making a concerted effort to go to the gym more. While taking care of ‘body’ I also want to be working on ‘mind.’ So, I’ve taken to listening to audio books and podcasts. Sometimes it’s “Serial” or history programs. Either way, I tend to lose track of time and just listen, making my minutes on the treadmill fly by.

One of the wellness podcasts that I’ve checked out is “The Overwhelmed Brain: The Personal Growth Podcast for the Critical Thinker,” by Paul Colaianni. You may initially find that the calming voice and affirming tone is off-putting. I like to think that I’m able to solve my own problems. However, I’m also realistic enough to know that there are some nagging thoughts that seem to replay on a loop that, despite my competence and self-awareness, I haven’t managed to shake.

In Colaianni’s episode, “Closing the past to Open the Future,” he outlines some truly helpful questions that you can use to investigate what he terms the ‘open loops’ of unresolved past experience that have formed into negative mindsets. He explains that you need to ask yourself, “What’s wrong? How do you feel about that? Why do you feel that way? What about that makes you feel that way?” Be specific about the cause.

These are pretty obvious questions, he admits, but how often do we stop at the ‘obvious’ problem and avoid figuring out why it upsets us so much? I found that listening to things I thought I already knew and then trying to be even more transparent about what, specifically, upsets me about a given situation can really help to take down the level of emotion, making it more manageable.

The last question, in that series of suggestions, is “If you had all the time, energy, knowledge and resources at your disposal to deal with this right now, what would you do?” Answering that question can help to get you closer to figuring out what is actually bothering you.

Check out “The Overwhelmed Brain” where Coliainni explores the questions below.

How to dig down and figure out what is really upsetting you: The Drill Down questions:

1) What’s wrong? You’re looking for an emotion.

2) What’s causing this emotion?

3) How does that make you feel upset? For example, how does losing your job make you feel sad? How would that be bad? Follow it to the worst-case scenario to figure out what, at the core, is really upsetting you.

4) How would that be bad? Usually what is bothering you is a deeper-level fear. Keep going. The worst-case scenario in our mind is somewhere underneath.

Be your own stylist

DIY, style

Pic pulled from a magazine featuring a dress that is remarkably similar to a vintage piece that my grandmother made by hand.

It started with a picture I pulled from a magazine. Or maybe it started back when I’d raid my mom’s closet. Or, probably, it started with the fact that today is a snow day. When else am I home during the day, with beautiful winter light streaming through the window, no chores to be done, and a -26 with windchill happening outside?

The other day my co-worker turned to me and said, “I want your closet.” This is sweet and flattering, but loving your clothes is not so far out of reach. Admittedly, dating and marrying a woman with an extensive collection of her own has expanded my wardrobe options, but I’ve always loved clothes and collected them lovingly. So, on this beautiful snow day I saw the magazine picture of Zoey Deschanel wearing a sweet polka-dot dress and knew exactly what I had in my closet that would replicate it. Today’s challenge: be my own stylist.

On a limited budget ($100-$150 a season if I’m being honest), how can you maximize your wardrobe potential?

Granny’s dress and the inspiration page.

1) Look at magazines for inspiration. Part of what keeps you in a rut is forgetting what you have and thinking of ways to wear those pieces in new ways. It looks like I have many more things than I do, because I rarely combine items the same way twice.

1B) Never throw anything out. Just because it’s out of style now doesn’t mean it won’t come back. Also, ‘out’ of style… according to who? If you love it, keep it; if you need a break… take it, but don’t pitch a piece you love just because its moment is over. Put it on hold, especially if you love the way it fits.

2) Know where to find it: not new clothes, the ones you already have. Keep your closet organized! When things are clean, ready to wear and easy to find, you are more likely to wear them. My hanger system is annoying, but I know where to find my stuff.

Some great bargain pieces in blush and with embellishments from Dex and Material Girl.

3) Know where to find it… if you don’t have it yet. Some stores will fit you, some won’t. Trying things on, shop around. Go into places you haven’t tried before. Some places will fit like a glove. I tend to have few problems with tops and dresses, but pants from places like Zara, Club Monaco and … most places actually, are tricky for me. I’m lucky that I’m not corporate, because Second Denim’s yoga jeans in 5 washes and cuts are my absolute favourite (they are super long-legged, really stretchy, have the high-rise and sky-rise fit, and never gape at the back).

4) Make friends with accessories and don’t spend a fortune. If you’re into

Clockwise from top left: White Feather Designs’ geometric silver and gold, Kensington Market graphic beads, E-bay $10 gold collar, 2 long pendants from YYZ Imports, H&M silver fringe, black and gold statement piece from a garage sale, Joe Fresh $5 sale baubles/rinestone necklace

classic jewelry (your favourite studs, one necklace)…lucky you. But I’ve found that an array of versatile costume jewelry keeps me feeling excited about new combinations.

5) Don’t try to solve your other issues with a new purchase. Moods, insecurities, … can’t *usually be solved by buying something. Unless you’re celebrating.

6) Buy things that you find challenging (formal dresses, swim suits) when you don’t need them. Purchasing them under pressure is rarely a good way to find a great item. I regularly look for dresses to wear to events and occasions, so that I have a few on stand-by. When I see a great deal, or when it fits well and I don’t have to wear it that weekend, I can take my time and usually get things at a way better price.

7) Borrow/trade with friends, casually, or host a full-on Clothing Swap

Knit floral-edge jacket from a play that I choreographed. The costumers gifted me this piece after the show wrapped.

party. These are a ton of fun and I never go home empty-handed. Some of my favourite pieces are from swaps.

8) Don’t discredit things from unlikely places or that don’t immediately catch your eye. My mother and grandmother’s closets have been great sources (with permission) for handbags, jewellery and vintage pieces. Winners is a veritable treasure trove. Same goes for the H&M sale racks. I am the girl who picks up stuff other people pass by because it seems impossible to wear, or ugly. I dare you to try on things you think won’t work and surprise yourself.

9) Keep track of what you like. Pin-it, tear it out of a magazine, keep a file on your phone. Stick some images that inspire you on the inside of your closet door.

What are your tricks for keeping it interesting in your wardrobe and preventing major splurges?

Most days I pick my outfit by sitting down to drink my morning coffee with chicfeed.com as my homepage. I scan the pages until I see something like what I own, and once one piece is decided I build from there. Rarely does the outfit end up looking like the original, but that’s the starting point.

With this in my, I played stylist and using one piece from the closet to start, I laid out outfits built around one inspiration piece at a time. Now I know what I’m wearing for the next week and a half. If the outfits feel too summery, I add thick tights or leggings, plus tall boots, a cardigan or blazer.

Ready, set, snow.

Joe Fresh sale button-up, costume jewelry and high-waisted dark denim.

Cozy fine-knit sweater and lightweight striped blazer (both Zara), skinny black jean and statement necklace (from a garage sale of jewelry previously worn one time by television hosts), Club Monaco steel ring and hand-crafted ring from a hippie beach shop.

Three outfits for wearing with thick leggings and tall boots or booties. Left to right (clothing swap Mexx sweater, Winners dress, Anthropologie necklace from ebay/ clothing swap Rachel Roy dress and H&M necklace/ woolly vest from Winners, vintage jacket with floral border, summery tunic from Winners, layered for cold weather and Anthropologie necklace).

Lots of texture and complimentary finishes help to keep these mix-and-match pieces feeling more cohesive.

Winter brights keep me feeling happy, and chartreuse is one of my favourites. Layered to keep cozy and worn with unexpected colour combos. Vero Moda soft blazer and tunic cut from a previous theatre costume, necklace from The Bay (on sale).

Clothing swap pink dress, two necklaces for $1 each + belt swiped from a different dress.

Cozy-up a summer dress with leggings, fuzzy shrug sweater with bat-wing sleeves. Earrings (vintage) free from a co-worker, geometric necklace from http://wfdjewellery.com/, long pendant from http://www.yyzimports.ca/collections/rumours.

Casual bright blue long sweater with Winners tunic and vintage jewelry. Good for a Friday where I’ll be on my feet and needing to move around.

More of a splurge: wear-anywhere Anthropologie dress with ebay choker necklace and nubby long sweater, add an extra faux-sheepskin layer for drafty rooms.

Have fun in your closet!

Lipstick Trick

DIY, style

Here’s one worth passing on. I saw this great video by beauty vlogger, Deepica Mutyala, that is certainly worth a try. She takes you through, step by step, to reveal how the lipstick you already have can serve the dual purpose of lip colour and under-eye brightening.

Awesome. Check it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV57W0hZgxM

Getting the Haircut you Want

Indulge, style

I’m pretty impulsive, so I get antsy when I have a few days in a row where my hair is uncooperative. I don’t have ‘great’ hair, like the kind that stops people on the street. But I’m lucky that I have hair that I don’t have to do much to in order to have it look pretty good. I’m spoiled.

I’ve had all lengths and colours, from jet black, to copper, to blonde, to Little-Mermaid Red. My poor locks have suffered. So, I put a moratorium on hair dying. Fortunately the ombre look has been enjoying its moment, thus, the grown-out colour is achieving this look accidentally-on purpose.

A while back I cut many inches off my post-wedding hair, to get rid of as much damage as I could.

April Wedding Hair (the ends had previously been black, then red, then blonde)

I created a Pinterest board for the purpose of gathering inspiration. I’ve heard that many stylists run into trouble when clients bring them no picture, say ‘do whatever’ (but don’t actually mean that), or bring them a picture of a celebrity who has completely different hair texture/thickness and expects to look like that celeb (because secretly they’re asking for a different face – not just the hair surrounding it. I surmise the last part, because that’s what I do every time I fall in love with a super short dress – I imagine my legs will look incredible because the dress itself will transform me. Only a gym and sensible eating will deliver those kind of results.

The hair cut, however, is so much easier when you can show a stylist what you like about certain cuts and narrow it from there, along with your routine (how much time and effort you’ll actually) put into maintaining the cut.

I first took Kristin (owner/stylist) at http://www.fusshairstudio.com/ a few of these pinned images on my phone and told her the above details. Mainly, I don’t do much to my hair, want versatility, need to be able to pin it back for dance and the gym, and want to see how long I can go without dying it. On my first visit, I showed her these:

Kristin is great, not just because she listens, but because she reads between the lines. I got what I asked for, literally, and a cut that I could manage on my own without changing the

Quick shot after an after leaving the salon, going to brunch and walking around for the afternoon

routines that let me get to work on time.

Oh, …and the cut lasted!

Months later, with the colour growing out significantly, I showed her a new batch of photos and got similarly accurate and smile inducing results.

Haircut #2 inspiration, all had the same long-bob and bangs look; I didn’t want to mess with the length, but wanted to colour to look more purposeful and harsh as my roots have been growing in.

So many people get stuck in a hair rut, or conversely feel the need to follow hair trends – veering away from styles that work for them because a new trend is on the rise or trying styles that don’t work for a variety of reasons (work/time/you have a toddler/it takes a ton of maintenance).

Make friends with your stylist!

1907553_10152537111862413_549894748860192625_n

Haircut two, snapped at home after sleeping on it, the morning after hosting a big dinner party. Pretty much no-styling-required.

They don’t just commiserate with you when you’re having a bad hair day. They fix it. No fuss. Or in this case, total Fuss.

Check them out online, or visit their Toronto boutique salon in Leslieville. Also, for those of you who aren’t just interested in a pretty space/face, they have super progressive policies like their gender neutral pricing, described in the article below.

Length VS. Gender

Dear Valued Fuss Clients,

We are posting this to let you know about a change at Fuss that will take place in the new year.

For a while Stacey & myself have been struggling with an issue, one of inequality. It has always existed within the beauty industry.

After careful consideration and many emails from you, we are making an adjustment. We are very proud to join in with those salons that have already made these advances and feel this is more along the lines of who we are.

On January 1st 2015 Fuss Hair Studio will be changing the prices of our haircuts. No longer to reflect your Gender but rather the length of your hair.

Thank you so much for your loyalty and support.

Kristin & Stacey

The Art of Letting Go

Love

Saw this heartfelt post online today, intended to soothe a friend who had sustained a loss. It struck me that no matter how much time has passed, we still sometimes have these heart-to-mind conversations with ourselves. Each part of our lives is framed by the cuts and losses that facilitate new growth. Sometimes the pruning is intentional, other times we get hacked to bits by shears in the hands of another. I appreciated these words.

The Art of Letting Go by Irene Park

Mind: Where’s our home?

Heart: I don’t know.

Mind: I thought we found it.

Heart: Me too.

Mind: What happened?

Heart: I don’t know.

Mind: I need to know.

Heart: I thought I was enough.

Mind: That’s not how it works.

Heart: Oh.

Mind: Haven’t you learned?

Heart: No.

Mind: It’s okay.

Heart: But when?

Mind: I follow you.

Heart: I’m trying to follow you.

Mind: We can be our own home.

Heart: For now?

Mind: Forever.

Heart: Okay.

Make it Happen: Build Your Own Jewellery Wall

DIY, Home Sweet, Indulge, style

The Dressing Room. That was one of my first projects when I bought my house. When I met my wife, the biggest step wasn’t the moving-in; it was amalgamating the closets. That was a merger that made me more nervous than buying our first major piece of furniture.

The Dressing Room has been a work-in-progress for a while now. My favourite new project was sparked by a need to properly care for, store and display our combined baubles so that we’d get the most wear out of them, keep them from tangling and avoid those unpleasant – where did you put the ________________ (piece of missing jewellery) conversations.

The wall of jewellery. You can do this yourself!

I decided to use a wall that already had a closet on it and to position the display space on the same wall to balance and mirror the shape of the closet. It’s tucked behind the entry door of the room, allowing maximum use, without taking up a wall that could be used to place a larger piece of furniture.

First. I measured the closet trim and planned to make an equal-sized frame for the wall-mounted display. I bought the trim, some one inch white strips (the technical name, I’m sure), white finishing nails, and got the saw and hammer from the tool shelf. I also got a protractor (not kidding). I figured out my angles, nailed those suckers to the wall, filled the small gaps, sawed a mis-measured angle (while it was still attached to the wall) and felt very proud of myself as I saw this all take shape.

When I explained this all to my wife, she raised an eyebrow. When she got home from work, I was pleased to show off my finished product. I placed each piece (staggering the horizontal pieces in varying distances to accommodate longer pieces), and put the nails in one at a time.

Voila! No more missing, tangled necklaces.

I am 100 times more likely to wear a necklace and consider it as an option for the day when I can see it. This is literally what ‘shopping your own closet’ looks like.

At the Ballet

Art, Indulge

One of my favourite indulgences is a love I’ve nurtured since childhood. It’s the old ‘I’ve been dancing since I could walk’ story. It was an unlikely way to tame a child, through a disciplined art form, who routinely had to be called back to sit in a circle with the other little girls because we were done ‘pretending to be fairies.’ Thank you, Miss Linda, for your patience.

The other story is that I was taken to play rehearsals with my director/actor mother, in a basket; discreetly tucked into an auditorium seat, to be minded by cast members who weren’t on stage, while the performance took shape. Most of this I don’t remember, except some standout moments of watching Mr. Mistopholes, in Cats, as performed by one of these former nurse-maids, or listening to cassette tapes of lines my mother was rehearsing, then repeating them back to her years later, wondering why these things were seared into my memory.

What happens when we grow up? There is very little time left to be a fairy, and reality television has made it clear that plenty of people out there have got not only the talent, but the drive to pursue these theatre and dance dreams all the way to their ends.

My mother and father have retired in Niagara-on-the-lake, so I get to see lots of amazing theatre at The Shaw Festival, but after years spent dancing, I was really missing it in my adult life. http://www.shawfest.com/

As for dance, in university, I found ways to keep in as a part of real life, and to extend beyond my own skills by using our charitable donations as a way to visit that world a few times a year.

Dancing with PushPULL, a company for adults with other careers, keeps me busy twice a week and gets me back on the stage for a yearly stretch of performances. Its always fun to watch people’s reactions when I tell them about my Adult Dance Recital; careful which words you emphasize, otherwise they expect pole dancing and pasties. If you have some long-estranged passion for something you used to do in your younger years, find some way to bring it back, full circle, into your life. It is one hundred percent worth the time investment. http://www.pushpulldance.com/

As for the financial investment, seeing live dance is a little trickier, given than our budget is tight, with home renovation projects, broken appliances, car payments, a wedding less than a year ago and a family in the making. However, my wife came home with the brilliant idea of turning our donations into face time at the ballet. We determined how much we could afford and became donors in support of the National Ballet of Canada. http://national.ballet.ca/supportus/donate/

One of the perks of being a donor is that we can attend talks and several dress-rehearsals during their season, the best of both worlds: contributing and experiencing dance. It’s our date night, usually preceded by a dinner near the theatre and a car ride home to discuss the performance.

Next up, perhaps we’ll check out the orchestra or opera. Where do you put your money-where-your-mouth-is?

StyleSaVie

Life lived beautifully.