Open Your Heart: Adopt an Animal

Open Letters
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Chesterella: A rags-to-riches feline. 

Chester(ella). She used to live under a car, in an alley on Queen Street in Toronto. As a 3 month old kitten, she was brought to me, never having been touched by a person before. After years of building trust, we are besties. I’m her favourite human… and even though you have to work for her love, she is my favourite cat. She is SO fluffy and looks deceptively chubby, but at bath time you can clearly see that she’s petite under all that fur. She sometimes falls asleep with her tongue stuck out. She likes to break into closets. She sharpens her claws on my leather couch.  Everyone has stories about their pets. I don’t need to tell them. If you have pets, you already know.

Animal videos and pictures rule the internet. And people benefit from that. We get hours of procrastination and cuteness.

Today I saw this wonderful post, about people who have adopted the oldest cat they could find at their local shelter: http://www.boredpanda.com/old-adopted-cats/

Consider adopting, if you have room in your heart.

Now, this is her favourite way to relax.

Now, this is her favourite way to relax.

Letter to a Trans* Stranger:

Open Letters

I wrote this letter, reaching out into the internet, in response to a post where the comment section had gone pretty rancid. An acquaintance had posted a rather poorly framed ‘response article’ to Caitlyn Jenner’s coming out coverage. See link: http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2015/06/call-me-caitlyn-or-else-the-rise-of-authoritarian-transgender-politics/

They posted without context and without clarifying that they, in fact (I assume?) are supportive of Trans* people… without providing details about what parts of the article they agreed with or found worth sharing.
The comments descended into the personal, the angry, the threatening. It seemed like a few of the ‘Friends’ of the original poster were on their own, fighting an onslaught of entitled, very vocal dissent about a person’s right to self-identify and have that identity (and pronouns) respected. One man in particular seemed to be getting beaten down relentlessly for daring to stand up for himself and his identity. So I (cowardly?) sent him a personal note.
—————
Hey Landon,
We don’t know each other but I wanted to voice my support, more personally than on a public thread. I read XXXX’s post, the one about Caitlyn, and the feed of increasingly inflammatory comments below.
I wanted to reach out to say that the community and so many of its members DO support you. I support you. The few who don’t are part of a generation who has not learned to connect their struggles and privilege with a broader history of oppression and the rights movement. They don’t know what they don’t know. That isn’t an excuse, but a sad fact. They feel entitled to opinions that disregard the fact that the only reason they HAVE the right to that opinion is because other people, before them and around them, have struggled to insulate them and give them privileges. You would think that having experienced oppression, you’d fight tooth and nail to end it for ALL, but some people don’t extend that concept beyond their own immediate circle.

We’ve never met, but to me the T* in LGBT (QQI2, etc), is as vital to the acronym as any other letter.

I’m a lesbian, queer cisgender woman and I applaud each and every diverse individual who puts themselves out there to live life authentically. And hope for each person who isn’t there yet that the efforts of those living OUT in their lives will pave the way for the rest.

I am grateful to the queer people who fought harder than I ever had to, making it possible for me to be out, as a young person in high school and now as a teacher in a public school system. Lesbians and Gay men, and any of us who pass in our day to day life, should be endlessly grateful to those who visibly push the boundaries. Trans* people and gender queer individuals are bearing the brunt of society’s sad, but still present animosity, violence and hostility – physically and emotionally absorbing the worst of what intolerant people throw towards OUR community. I recognize that I have privilege because more visible minorities, like many trans people, now experience/are experiencing what Lesbian and Gay people went through 15 years ago.

We should be allying ourselves with you, to bring the conditions for ALL people to the same standards enjoyed by the majority. I’m just not comfortable with the idea that these are separate fights.”L-Word lesbians” and GBFs would not be living as comfortably as they are now if it were not for the targets on the backs of people living further outside the ‘norm’. I get to feel ‘more normal’ because the trans community, assexual community and other identities are bearing the burden of society’s slow-moving education, intolerance and lack of awareness. I hope that makes sense.

Long-windedly … what I’m trying to say is that I’m on your side. I cannot know what it is like to be in your shoes. But I want to hear and share and validate your experience. And to thank you for your bravery. And to apologize that I even have to ‘thank you for the bravery’ of being yourself. Because it should not be this hard. And to make it easier, you should at least be able to rely on people who should know better – to have your back.

—————————-

Some of the coverage is obviously satire, like good old Penny  http://www.gallerynews.com/current/you-cant-change-your-sex-and-thats-final-says-eminent-psychiatrist/

but subtlety can be tricky. And anger is so much more obvious. When it’s you in the cross hairs, its about more than tropes and disembodied politics. It’s life and death. Your life.

As Alix Olson says,

“Sometimes anger’s subtle, less rage than sad

leaking slow, through spigots you didn’t know you had

and sometimes it’s just, ‘Fuck you… fuck you’

You know, and to me, that’s poetry, too.”

Sex Ed and Satire: A Lesson For All

Open Letters

I often feel as though I’m not allowed to say what I really think about the politics in my own province, given my role as an educator, and especially given my ‘gay agenda.’

So, sometimes when you find a source of fabulous online satire, you let others do the talking for you. The aptly named The Beaverton website has helped to raise some awareness, with a bite. Check out their recent article,

Ontario schoolchildren: “Our parents aren’t mature enough for us to learn about sex”

TORONTO – Elementary school students across Ontario have begun to protest the province’s updated health and physical education curriculum, expressing concern that their parents aren’t “mentally developed enough” for them to learn about sex.

“The new sex ed program is way too much for mom and dad,” said Dana, age 12. “As soon as it was announced they started to whine and complain and throw fits. Daddy even locked himself in his room and started blasting Deep Purple when I tried to ask him about it. I really don’t think they are ready for me to learn about sex let alone LGBTQ issues.”

The revised syllabus, the first such change in Ontario’s curriculum in 17 years, includes discussions of sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexting, concepts which many fear parents aren’t emotionally prepared for their children to be taught. This sentiment has been vocally expressed in demonstrations around Queen’s Park, where thousands of children have gathered with banners such as, “Let parents be parents!”, “Don’t damage our parents!” and “My parent, my choice.”

“Do you honestly think that a man who paints his entire body blue every time he goes to a Jay’s game has the maturity for his children to learn about masturbation?” asked a picketer, Jeremy, referring to his father. “I don’t think so.”

Ontario’s children are lobbying the government to get sex ed postponed until it is absolutely necessary. If it happens too early, they reason, their parents may be made uncomfortable.

“Honestly, I don’t like the idea of William knowing that I’m learning about penises and vaginas. He’s only 43, after all,” explained Michael, age 7. “We should wait until he can fully understand it. Ideally, after I’ve contracted an STI or accidentally gotten a girl pregnant.”

In light of these issues, the Ontario government is considering removing sex ed all together, hoping instead that schoolchildren accidentally walk in on their parents.

 Last modified on Thursday, 07 May 2015 23:26

http://www.thebeaverton.com/national/item/1848-ontario-schoolchildren-our-parents-aren-t-mature-enough-for-us-to-learn-about-sex

Sex Education: Proactive Ed for A Healthier, Happier Society

Open Letters

I never send out ‘Like’ requests, but this is something I feel passionate about. Ontario’s government wants to update their antiquated Health and Sex Ed Curriculum. This is a VERY good thing. However, many parents are protesting, due to religious views, concern for age appropriateness, or general discomfort with schools teaching their kids about things like ‘gasp!’ CONSENT, DIVERSE IDENTITIES AND SEXUALITY, SAFER SEX PRACTICES, and GENDER IDENTITY. If you live in a country where diversity is protected, that means you don’t get to erase us, marginalize us and pretend we don’t exist when you teach children about their bodies and their relationships. Your child is who they are and pretending people like me don’t exist won’t ‘protect’ or ‘prevent’ your child from becoming a queer person, a gay person, a trans person. We already ARE these people. Discussing a variety of identities builds respect. The only thing these conversations change is how people are treated and what kind of future kids have. Including informed, balanced education on these topics will prevent generations of children from facing voicelessness, ignorance, discrimination and the gross, misinformed views that have hurt, not helped, diverse people. We should strive to create a society where no child is afraid to tell the people they love who they are, and where (more generally) sexual violence, abuse and pressure to conform, which create dangerous situations for young people, are replaced by support, confidence, informed choices and respect between consenting individuals. If you can’t get behind a less homophobic, transphobic society, at least (I would assume) you are in support of a less rape-y one. This is crucial in a world where violence, assault, exploitation and pressures of all kinds exist for people of all ages. Pretending sex doesn’t exist in our world creates easy targets with few support systems. Talking about sexuality, consent and identity can help to raise critical thinkers who make choices that positively impact youth, their relationships and, ultimately, their communities.

The Union Wars and Overpaid Public Employees

Open Letters

This actually has nothing to do with unions. At least not the current union business. It does have to do with the ongoing (about once – in earnest- every two year bloodbath wherein a public sector, usually unionized, gets slaughtered in the media and court of public opinion for having the audacity to stand up for their rights).

Usually the hot button issue is salary. But, let’s be clear, it’s rarely about salary for us. More so ‘human rights’ (the right to negotiate the working terms of our contracts) and the inequity of being maligned in the public eye and used by the government as scapegoats to pay off, or pay down, a deficit we didn’t create.

Most of what I hear about teachers can be chalked up to ignorance; to the fact that most of us have been to the dentist a bunch of times but don’t feel qualified, after sitting in that chair, to carry out the job of a dentist, but feel totally justified in imagining that we know what it’s like to be a teacher. Some dot-jots might help:

– We get summers off. Yes, we used to be an agrarian society and farmers needed their children to be out of school to help work the fields. It isn’t a glorified vacation, or some sweet deal we negotiated.

-It isn’t a paid vacation. We are paid for the hours we spend AT work, IN the classroom. The pay is calculated and divided into lump sums to be given to us every two weeks – still ONLY based on hours worked.

-We don’t get paid for the coaching, supervisions at night, dances, trips, etc., that we take time away from our families to do so other people’s children have a well-rounded learning experience. We do it because we love it.

-Those sick days and perks that others are so jealous of? We got those in past negotiations INSTEAD of higher salaries. So, when they get stripped in current ‘negotiations’ it amounts to a paycut because they weren’t things given to us without sacrifices in other areas.

-I have three degrees and spent seven years in university to become a professional in my field. I am helping to prepare, for life and society, our country’s greatest asset – your children. I care and invest in them as my life’s work. Treating teachers like scum sends a terrible message about the value of our role in raising the next generation.

-The fight we often step into, in standing up for our rights, is one that sets the terms for the kind of rights your children will have when they enter the workforce.

-We ARE taking one for the team and doing our part, and have been for the past 6 years at least (salary freezes, no seniority or cost of living increases, while HST and cost of living has made our expenses, and yours, higher)

-Yes, there are bad, lazy teachers. And office workers. And police officers. And engineers. And assembly line workers. And… pretty much every job has some employees who don’t do a fantastic job.

-The teaching market is SUPER saturated. Qualified, eager teachers and waiting years to get their foot in the door. If we didn’t love our profession, we would be doing something else.

-Our job isn’t easy. Neither is yours. But I wouldn’t presume to tell you what your job is like, seeing as how I don’t work there. I have one of the most rewarding jobs I can imagine. Truly. I love it, but don’t so much love having people speculate about how easy it would be to do it, or indulging the stereotypes that each profession suffers under.

-Bottom line: Please don’t begrudge those who have employment, benefits and job security the fact that they have the things all hard-working people should have. Yes, we have pensions – we pay into them and, in this society, rather than trying to claw back gains by groups of unionized workers and pettily scorning them for having (gasp) future financial security, why don’t we work harder to make sure ALL citizens have adequate care, safety, living wages, health and financial security for their futures? Wouldn’t this make our society more productive and secure?

For a really fun overview of how much teachers make, which completely explains why we are so overpaid, check out the following breakdown by Meredith Menden:

“Teachers’ hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work nine or ten months a year! It’s time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do — babysit!We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That’s right. Let’s give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and planning — that equals 6-1/2 hours).So each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day…maybe 30? So that’s $19.50 x 30 = $585 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.

LET’S SEE….

That’s $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master’s degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6-1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute — there’s something wrong here! There sure is!

The average teacher’s salary (nationwide) is $50,000.

$50,000/180 days = $277.77 per day / 30 students = $9.25 / 6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student — a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!)

WHAT A DEAL!!!!”

Meredith Menden