Honeymoon Part 2: St. Martin

Love

After a whirlwind tour of New York City, we hopped on a plane and headed to the island of St. Martin. Ready to dip our toes in the water, eat lots of seafood and relax, island style, we checked-in to the Grand Case Beach Resort. We opted for a condo-style resort so we could have our own kitchen and shop at the market, while also enjoying the option of our hotel’s breakfast and restaurant. After all, Grand Case has a strip of restaurants that is well known for its incredible French cuisine and Caribbean and Creole fusion.

Island adventures in eating, sight seeing and relaxing!

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We indulged in everything friends and family could recommend, which included a trip to Loterie Farm. By day it’s a park with a private swimming area and hangout, with zip-lining and rain forest tours overhead… by night it’s a posh club or romantic place to tuck away in a private cabana.

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Imagine this place by night, lit moodily with twinkling light – the sound of waterfalls blending with the calls of the creatures in the forest and bats swooping silently overhead. We were invited to tour this place all by ourselves when all was quiet.

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That evening we ate in the tree top lounge. The food was lovely and you could see the bats sweeping by outside.

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Relaxing high in the trees.

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Exploring the islands nearby; we took a catamaran trip to Anguilla, on rolling waves and jumped into the clear blue waters to snorkel with sea turtles and cavort on the beach.

Gorgeous sea life was so close you could touch it. I loved swimming over the grazing sea turtles, watching them gracefully dip and bob through the water.

Gorgeous sea life was so close you could touch it. I loved swimming over the grazing sea turtles, watching them gracefully dip and bob through the water.

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For two days we rented a car to explore more of the small island. Totally do-able. You can drive the entire island in an hour. We stopped at romantic lookouts, quiet cafes and drank coffees in the morning, mimosas at lunch and in the evening we walked or took taxis to enjoy the nightlife, while ensuring our safe return to the hotel.

Grand Case is brimming with great places to eat and drink, we particularly liked the Zen'it Beach-Grand Case beer garden and cafe. The owners were friendly and it was a super place to relax in the afternoon and into evening.

Grand Case is brimming with great places to eat and drink; it’s known for its restaurant mile.

We particularly liked the Zen'it Beach-Grand Case beer garden and cafe. The owners were friendly and it was a super place to relax in the afternoon and into evening. It was very quirky and laid back.

We particularly liked the Zen’it Beach-Grand Case beer garden and cafe. The owners were friendly and it was a super place to relax in the afternoon and into evening. It was very quirky and laid back.

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Sharing drinks with new friends. We were surprised to see quite a few other LGBTQ couples. These New Yorkers were travelling together and they are now newlyweds themselves!

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On our journey we were on the lookout for some good local ‘fast food’. Allia had fish escovitch and I had jerk. Of course.

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Playing with her food.

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Out on the catamaran.

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Evening cocktails with mint and fresh tropical fruits.

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My beautiful new wife, looking out from Sunset Cafe.

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Lobster bibbed and ready to go.

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Lolo’s served authentic, piled-high food at very reasonable prices, with all the carb combinations you can imagine: spaghetti, rice, potatoes … all as the sides to your meats… with salad and veggies. This was the place to go if you were hungry and felt like sharing flavourful, simple food.

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Lolo’s and Chez Coco are almost indistinguishable from one another, save for the aisle that runs between their outdoor tables. These beachfront open air restaurants were one of our favourite finds. All the dishes were served heaping and hot. Total comfort food.

Bbq and smoke at Lolo's in Grand Case. They would call out and chat you up like an old friend as you walked by. How can you not stop in for a bite?

Bbq and smoke at Lolo’s in Grand Case. They would call out and chat you up like an old friend as you walked by. How can you not stop in for a bite?

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Jerk chicken and rice.

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I think 3 Euros for two mangoes is a hefty price. But Allia was charmed by the kerchief’d old lady selling them roadside. And they were the BEST mango I’d ever tasted.

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Wrecks in the harbour.

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Street graffiti pays tribute to the islands French culture. The island is divided between France and the Netherlands.

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Zip lining through the canopy.

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At Maho Beach, despite the warnings that ‘death may result’… people wait to stand beneath the flight path of incoming and departing planes. We watched from a safe distance, Heinekens in hand.

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Beautiful beaches on the island of Anguilla.

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Snorkeling right off the rocks at our hotel.

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During low season, we had this relaxing beach cafe all to ourselves in the early morning.

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Calmos was a wonderful place to enjoy live music and feet-in-the-sand salsa dancing at night.

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Our friendly, neighbourhood iguana.

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Grand Case Beach Club’s waterfront.

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Accommodations. Simple and clean. Air conditioning is a must. The weather was breezy but tropical.

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Passing ships at the Grand Case Beach Club.

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What we happily referred to as “Our Beach.”

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Striking a pose between the sports and water desk, and the cafe at our hotel.

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Love. Love. Love.

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Lazy afternoons… with cocktails.

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Strolling the board walk.

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Curried shrimp and rice. Making plans for the rest of the day, while eating = our favourite pass time.

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Chicken and shrimp and fish… oh my.

Bye bye, Grand Case Beach Club.

Bye bye, Grand Case Beach Club.

Aurevoir, St. Martin. We will miss you. Thanks for the memories and the most relaxing end to our honeymoon!

Say Yes: Step 1 of Dress Shopping – Inspiration

Wedding

Before our wedding I found myself immersed in the “Say Yes To The Dress” frenzy of looking for the perfect one, while simultaneously being repelled by the astronomical price of these one-time-only frocks. As a fan of vintage and re-used clothing, of hand-me-downs from my mom and grandma, as well as the ‘look longingly with a sigh’ window shopping of online and magazine page-turning… I was at a loss for an answer to the big question: how can I find a dress that is personal, unique and beautiful, at a price that I can feel comfortable about (knowing that I’m on a self-imposed budget AND that I’m likely to spill something on myself… cause that’s just the kind of girl I am)?  I culled inspiration from all sorts of places: Etsy, Pinterest, Bridal Magazines (given to me in stacks by previously married friends). I was definitely also interested in a second-hand gown from one of the many dress donation charities. But, where do you start?

I Pinned. Well, first I drew. I sketched my perfect dress. Then I started a folder of Pinterest images and tore out pictures from magazines until I had a really clear sense of what I was drawn to. Then I started to distill that down to what I liked AND could see myself in. What looks great in pictures doesn’t always mean that it’s a good fit for you, your body, your wedding venue, etc. I also had the added challenge of finding a dress that would coordinate with the UNSEEN dress my wife would be wearing.

Guiding words: romantic, whimsical, vintage, soft, comfortable to dance in. Like a vintage photograph or a bouquet of faded flowers. Key colours for our day: Blush, taupe, cream, gold and pewter.

Confident that our visions were aligned, and with my sister-in-law as the go between stylist, we set out. Ultimately, when I look back, the dress I got was strangely similar to my original sketch, even though I’d put it in the back of my mind once we started looking at actual dresses. From start to finish. Here is some of the inspiration and the final result.

I loved the idea of a low back and looser fit. Flowing fabric and a dance-floor-floor friendly cut.

I loved the idea of a low back and looser fit. Flowing fabric and a dance-floor-floor friendly cut.

Something vintage with a bit of glimmer and glitz. I loved this look, but worried (after years of dance competitions) that sequins are both hot and scratch delicate upper arms!

Something vintage-inspired with a bit of glimmer and glitz. I loved this look, but worried (after years of dance competitions) that sequins can be hot, and make the dress weigh a ton, but also have the potential to scratch delicate upper arms!

Sweet and simple. Eden // Rose Gold Sequinned, Backless Wedding Dress $1,850.00 CAD Truvelle

Sweet and simple. Eden // Rose Gold Sequinned, Backless Wedding Dress
$1,850.00 CAD – Truvelle

Romantic wedding dress with a floral belt and fluttery sleeve.  $413.12 CAD Barzelai

Romantic wedding dress with a floral belt and fluttery sleeve.
$413.12 CAD
Barzelai

Fall Brittany Wedding Dress Gown-Gorgeous A-line champange sweetheart floor length $2,754.13 CAD TingBridal. I absolutely love the colour and vintage feel of this dress. The soft hem and peplum, with the sweetheart neck seemed in keeping with our vintage theme.

Fall Brittany Wedding Dress Gown-Gorgeous A-line champange sweetheart floor length
$2,754.13 CAD
TingBridal. I absolutely love the colour and vintage feel of this dress. The soft hem and peplum, with the sweetheart neck seemed in keeping with our vintage theme.

Low-back Grecian draped by Whitesrose

Low-back Grecian draped by Whitesrose

Gorgeous detailing and intricate back: a little exotic, a little art-deco.  Inspired Wedding dress reception dress flapper alternative backless dress. $749.87

Gorgeous detailing and intricate back: a little exotic, a little art-deco. Inspired Wedding dress reception dress flapper alternative backless dress. $749.87

This dress has a very theatrical flare that reminds me of ballet costumes... and actually resembles quite closely the dress I ended up purchasing. Strapless tulle and organza princess wedding dress. Lemandywedding.

This dress has a very theatrical flare that reminds me of ballet costumes… and actually resembles quite closely the dress I ended up purchasing. Strapless tulle and organza princess wedding dress. Lemandywedding.

Sweet Gatsby detailing and flattering cut. French Lace Cap Sleeve Empire Waist Sweetheart Neckline Wedding gown,Illusion Neckline, Layered Chiffon Skirt, The "Isabella" Gown by Schone $2,724.09 CAD

Sweet Gatsby detailing and flattering cut. French Lace Cap Sleeve Empire Waist Sweetheart Neckline Wedding gown,Illusion Neckline, Layered Chiffon Skirt, The “Isabella” Gown by Schone
$2,724.09 CAD

I fell in love with the delicate, fragility and texture of this ecru coloured gown. The flattering detail at the bust and the irregular hem was so reminiscent of a ballet costume that I almost caved and ordered it online. Alice- Silk Chiffon Wedding Gown $3,317.48 CAD Leanimal

I fell in love with the delicate, fragility and texture of this ecru coloured gown. The flattering detail at the bust and the irregular hem was so reminiscent of a ballet costume that I almost caved and ordered it online. Alice- Silk Chiffon Wedding Gown
$3,317.48 CAD
Leanimal

Full length.

Full length.

Starting to notice a trend in fabric, cut and back detailing. Ruffled Silk Wedding Dress - Lori $625.94 CAD SaintIsabel

Starting to notice a trend in fabric, cut and back detailing. Ruffled Silk Wedding Dress – Lori
$625.94 CAD
SaintIsabel

Very Duchess of Cambridge: This one has it all... flow, shape skimming cut and romantic details.

Very Duchess of Cambridge: This one has it all… flow, shape skimming cut and romantic details.

The bigger the skirt, the ... harder to get through a crowd. This cupcake dress was, surprisingly, the furthest thing from what I thought I'd want, but when I started trying on dresses, I found that these dresses really produced the lash-fluttering effect I'd been hoping for. Maybe all that time in dance costumes had an impact after all!

The bigger the skirt, the … harder to get through a crowd. This cupcake dress was, surprisingly, the furthest thing from what I thought I’d want, but when I started trying on dresses, I found that these dresses really produced the lash-fluttering effect I’d been hoping for. Maybe all that time in dance costumes had an impact after all!

Seeing some similarities emerging: off-white, soft skirts and layers, sweetheart necks, bare shoulder(s) and back, waist details... Custom Wedding Gown- Summer Sunshine-Alencon lace and tulle A-line floor length wedding dress-made to order: $2,253.38 CAD TingBridal

Seeing some similarities emerging: off-white, soft skirts and layers, sweetheart necks, bare shoulder(s) and back, waist details… Custom Wedding Gown- Summer Sunshine-Alencon lace and tulle A-line floor length wedding dress-made to order: $2,253.38 CAD
TingBridal

Romance and a story, told through the details.

Sometimes the photos I was drawn to were more about the mood: Romance and a story, told through the details. This pic has a timeless quality and softness that exudes intimacy, despite the wide-openness of the setting. 

Proof in the pudding – the inspiration found its way into the final choice.

My tulle-skirted, one shoulder gown, in blush, with a paper bouquet and Granny's vintage fur.

My tulle-skirted, one shoulder gown, in blush, with a paper bouquet and Granny’s vintage fur. Photography: Sweetheart Empire.

Soft? Check. Romantic? Check.

Soft? Check. Romantic? Check.

And the palette worked out perfectly, even with our bridal party, who all wore different variations of our colour scheme. Timeless, but so now. I love these photos as much a year later as I did on the day. But, I'm biased.

And the palette worked out perfectly, even with our bridal party, who all wore different variations of our colour scheme. Timeless, but so now. I love these photos as much a year later as I did on the day. But, I’m biased.

And the details came together beautifully, even though we hadn't seen each other's dress before hand.

And the details came together beautifully, even though we hadn’t seen each other’s dress before hand. Photography: Sweetheart Empire.

Stay tuned for Step 2 and 3, as well as future Wedding Planning posts.

The Times, They Are a Changing

Love, Open Letters, Wedding

All photos from my own wedding are courtesy of Kate O’Connor at  http://sweetheartempire.com/ 

Anyone who grows up … in North America, knows the story. You grow up, you fall in love… you get married. I certainly applaud those who challenge the narrative and, yes, there are problems with ‘the institution,’ but one of the things that shows how much progress we have made, as a nation (Canada and others) is the right to choose. Marriage. No, we are not defined by our decision to join our life with someone else, and yes, you can be whole and fulfilled without being paired, or procreating. But for so long, queer relationships were defined by their inability to participate in the beautiful, emotionally fulfilling, symbolic step of sharing the joy of your relationship with those you love and having your community show their support for that union.

Today I saw an article about a dazzling couple, who celebrated in a fusion of Western and Indian traditions: http://the-daily.buzz/americas-first-indian-lesbian-wedding/?ts_pid=2

This beautiful couple has helped to raise the profile for couples everywhere who want to marry the one they love, while celebrating their culture.

And the diversity is plain to see.

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A colourful union, between two brides with a female officiant.

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Two traditional dresses challenge the ‘who is wearing the tux’ assumption.

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Playing with conventions and gender in a classic pose.

Hard landscape, sweet emotion.

Hard landscape, sweet emotion.

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Picture perfect little love birds.

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Tattoos and lace, faux-hawk and a smitten grin.

One of the most beautiful parts of any wedding are the small details and traditions that couples integrate into their special day, to reflect their relationship, interests and cultures. For queer couples, although many face sadness and hardship around life moments that can bring difference and non-acceptance into harsh contrast, there are (at least) two things to be very thankful for: they have found the person they want to join their life with, and they have a chance to shape new traditions and challenge existing ones that might seem like a given for heterosexual couples.

Here are a few highlights from our special day.

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Allia didn’t want us to see the other’s dress. So it was an incredible surprise to see how beautifully our dresses complimented one another; and seeing her for the first time made my jaw hit the floor. She got to decide that I would walk first, accompanied by my father, while her brother escorted her, second, down the aisle to meet me.

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It was hard for us not to have her parents involved in the wedding, so we turned the traditional father daughter dance into a ‘first dance’ with someone you love. I danced with my amazing dad, and she danced with her siblings to “Stand By Me.”

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We had our friend, Riaz, an unordained ‘un-officiant’ perform our ceremony. Including some humour, our delightful friend married us from atop an apple box, because we are both 5’10 and … my wife met Riaz when they both worked in the film industry.

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The music was varied and personalized, with French and “Midnight in Paris” inspired music during the pre-ceremony, Bossa-Nova and Bossa-Marley (a throwback to our time in Spain) during cocktails. We both insisted that our dresses be comfortable enough to dance in, and we had a roaring dance party to celebrate, with tunes from Oldies (which we love to cook to), to indie-electro and some Bob Marley (of course, for her Jamaican heritage).

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We opted for a converted historic church building, with the sunlight streaming in.

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There was a surprise during dinner: amidst the childhood photos and slideshow – a video of our proposal. An onstage karaoke request for her hand in marriage. We had wine cork wreaths and all of our bridesmaids carried handmade paper bouquets by a local artisan.

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We decided to forgo the awkwardly posed shots and, instead, to go SUPER posed, for a Vanity Fair/Netflix inspired editorial look. All of our bridal party members got to choose their own attire, from a palette of colours for a vintage, soft look, with a cohesive, romantic tone. We wore two of my grandma’s vintage furs, and all of the bridesmaids were able to re-wear their dresses. Given that there was no ‘groom,’ we had no ‘groomsmen,’ but each of us had our brother step in as our ‘best man.’ 

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There is a special place in our hearts for our gay boy friends; our ‘g-ushers’ helped to usher in the guests (except for my brother-in-law), and wore handmade bow ties made by one of my former students.

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What is more fun than some rubber masks? As a late-night surprise, to go with the arrival of the poutine bar, panda, giraffe, unicorn, owl and horse masks turned up on the dance floor. It was the weirdest, most magical dance party, as well as tying in some of the animal themed elements from the day and creating some great candid shots.

I Heart You

Art, DIY, Love, Wedding

One of my favourite personalized details from our wedding day, almost a year ago, was the custom heart that my designer friend, Katey, created for us. She is a stylist, ceramic artist and all-round creative genius and, knowing our penchant for DIY touches, she asked if she might be able to make us something special.

Photo Credit: Sweetheartempire.com, Heart by Katherine Morley, Location: Berkeley Church, Toronto.

Photo Credit: Sweetheartempire.com, Heart by Katherine Morley, Location: Berkeley Church, Toronto.

The results were amazing and the decorative heart, emblazoned with our names, became a key piece of our wedding day puzzle.

Berkeley Church, Toronto. Photo Credit: Sweetheart Empire, Toronto (Kate O'Connor). Heart by Katherine Morley.

Berkeley Church, Toronto. Photo Credit: Sweetheart Empire, Toronto (Kate O’Connor). Heart by Katherine Morley.

Check out her beautiful designs on everything from ‘Capacity’ – a carefully curated collection of art and design by female designers in Toronto, to her ceramic sculptures for fish tanks (which address the issues surrounding human impact on our oceans and the depletion of sea coral, while providing a gorgeous, sustainable landscape for fish to explore).

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Katherine Morley in her studio.

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Sculptural pieces with form and function.

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More of her creative pieces, featured in House & Home, including her circus-inspired ceramics, and Iceberg book ends that evoke the Group of Seven.

Supporting local artists, especially ones who are socially conscious and engaged in their community, is a great way to fill your home, event and life, in general, with good vibes, originality and beauty.