A thousand words. Photography to capture the magic of a wedding day.

Wedding

All photos (above) by Kate O’Connor of Sweetheart Empire.

Choosing our photographer was one of the things we were most picky about for our wedding plans. If everything goes smoothly on the day of, great! But having lasting memories for ourselves and for our future family is a detail we didn’t want to overlook.

We started our hunt by asking for recommendations from people we knew. We then checked out the portfolios of those photographers and met with our top three. We had such an instant connection with Kate (Sweetheart Empire). We felt like we wanted to be friends with her, and now we are. Knowing that someone is going to be standing in at all of those intimate, special moments of nerves, tears (of joy) and excitement, I wanted to feel 100% confident that she would be a seamless, positive part of the day. We couldn’t have been more right about her. Kate O’Connor’s demeanor and utter professionalism was incredible. She listened. She was sweet and thoughtful, open to all my creative (read: strange) suggestions and she got us to feel in the moment, during all the chaos of the day. She was part life coach, keeping us focused on each other, and part magician. She captured the day, and us, the way I remember it all feeling.

When I said, ‘like a Vanity Fair cover’ or ‘the Netflix ads for The Vampire Diaries,’ she knew exactly what I meant.

Like a soft “American Gothic”. Check. This is our trademark shot. We get one like this, together, each year. It’s going to be like a yearbook for us as we grow together.

I trusted her completely to get us right. And she absolutely did. These are just a few of my favourite moments from our day, followed by a selection of inspiration images (all pinned to my Pinterest page) of the kind of images that we were drawn to. Knowing what we wanted really helped us to know what direction to take, and how to help Kate understand what we were looking for. She captured our day so beautifully that our wedding was chosen by Pikto Gallery as one of their sample books.

Before choosing a photographer, I wanted a good sense of what kind of images we would want to create with our photographer. Below are some of the photos that caught my eye. For the links to the following images, check out my Wedding Photography Pinterest Board. Though none are an exact replica (like any great art), the feeling of these photos definitely comes through in our final product. They were visual references so we could be on the same page.

I knew I wanted to feel like this in my photos. Smokey and soft, romantic and a little undone. Very sweet, but still grown up.

And catching those natural expressions and intimacy was important to us, too.

The drama of a great backdrop and having us be part of a great landscape was also an inspiration.

How did you choose your photographer? Would you do anything differently? What kind of images do you want from that moment in time?

Bouquet Toss

Wedding

The history of bridal bouquets is much less sweet than you might expect. June was a popular time for weddings because, historically, it was close to the yearly bath that brides might enjoy – thus ensuring that they still smelled pretty good on their wedding day. In case a bride’s scent was unromantically ripe, you could always rely upon an abundance of fresh flowers in the spring and into summer, perfect for making a fragrant bouquet to mask the odour. How sweet. Then there is the tossing away of the bouquet. Locked in and awaiting your wedding night, there’s no time left to back out… or away.

Now we retain the tradition of bouquets … for the romance and beauty of the blooms. Good thing, too, because they can be stunning.

At our wedding we opted for a long-lasting, artistic and local alternative – paper flowers. Our center pieces had white hydrangeas from my mother’s garden and our bridal party carried hand-made paper bouquets, in an array of muted, complementary colours, with burlap ribbon and crystals – a perfect marriage of rough and delicate. We also love that they have lasted, and will continue to last, long past the day-of. It should also be noted that we liked the environmentally friendly aspect of forever blooms. Our flowers were by Everblooms. These photos were taken before the ceremony… And they look just as beautiful today as they did here.

Working with the artist, a local from Chatham, was a total pleasure. Our bouquets were placed in vases on the head table for a splash of colour. Below.

What flowers are capturing your imagination?

Stepping Out – Bridal Shoes for the Romantic Bride

Wedding

Photo (above) by Sweetheart Empire. For more work by Kate O’Connor, check out her website here.

One of the most crucial parts of your wedding day is allowing yourself to enjoy it. This isn’t one of those ‘suck it up’ and suffer-the-heels days. Shoes are one of the most important, practical decisions you’ll have to make. You want to look and feel amazing. Yes, you will be photographed more in one day than ever before in your life, but you should be able to last, comfortably, on this (of all days) through the prep, the walk down the aisle, the photos and the dance party. That was key for me; will I be able to dance… all night long? Yes. So, while some folks opt for two dresses, for me it was the shoes. And I have to mention, that while I took lots of inspiration from the expensive items I sourced online and in boutiques, my TWO pairs of shoes cost me less than $100 … together. For the aisle and ceremony, I wore rose-gold t-strap heels (at a conservative 2.5 inches), and for the party, I put on some delicate rose-gold ballerina flats. I made sure that my dress was fitted to skim the floor (which is why a conservative heel was the best choice). At 5’10, I didn’t need to be more statuesque, but feeling comfy (and elegant) was top of the priority list. Here are some of the heels that stole my heart, though not my pay cheque.

Some of my favourite images feature unusual, vintage-inspired picks. Quirky, feminine pairs, with a sturdy heel were good contenders. The top right pair (below) were more of a wear-anywhere shoe, but the other three could easily have been the peep of colour beneath the kick of my hem.

A little something blue? Blue-green, maybe? Liebling makes a wide array of cool, retro shapes.

These beautiful, embellished flats (below) were, by far, one of the best choices I made. They were a hit on the dance floor. I found a pair from Nine West and still wear them today. Pretty-up a pair of simple flats by adding a shoe clip!
The luxe factor really came into play once I started perusing the feed (and website) of Anthropologie’s BHLDN wedding collection. These shoes are drool-inducing. See for yourself. What shoes helped you put your best foot forward on your wedding day? Or, what pair(s) are you still dreaming of?

Step up and tell me what shoes you’d rock down the aisle in. 🙂

Wedding Bells: Getting Ready In Style

Wedding

I love love. I especially love nostalgia, photographs and reminiscing about happy life moments. So, it`s been a total treat looking at the proofs from Sweetheart Empire; our photographer, Kate O`Connor is a total pro and caught all the lovey-dovey moments of our nuptials, making it a day of smooth sailing and laughter. Here`s a little taste of our day: my wife, getting ready to put on the dress and meet me at the church, surrounded by her dearest friends.

View More: http://sweetheartempire.pass.us/allia-alison-wedding

Dress, shoes and grandmother`s vintage fur. Jewels, makeup and finishing touches. We jumped on the trend, right before it peaked two years ago, and ordered long kaftans in an array of bright hues for all our bridesmaids, mum, our musicians and all the friends who pitched in to make our DIY wedding so dreamy.

Our Emcees were one of our favourite couples, a spicey pair of lesbian-marrieds who are just as silly as we are. In the Grand Hotel, she prepped, went over the itinerary, sipped champagne and got prepped with her ladies. Don`t let the serious face, above, fool you; she was cool as a cucumber, no Bridezilla to be found.

With her sister to help zip her in, it was high-fives and hugs. What a stunning bride. And down the hall, I`m in my own blissful bubble, getting ready to see this gorgeous face at the altar. Stay tuned for the next love-update! Cheers and love, A.

View More: http://sweetheartempire.pass.us/allia-alison-wedding

Santorini Destination Wedding

Wedding

Greece was on my bucket list. We even talked of taking our honeymoon in Greece. We couldn’t afford it. So, when my good friend, a sommelier and traveller, decided to get married in Santorini, we couldn’t believe our luck. I was asked to do the bride’s hair and make-up and to do make-up for the wedding party. Of course, I said yes.

What an incredibly magical spot to wed!

The Bride’s closest friends, family and her new step-daughter!

Getting ready with her bridal party.

Enjoying the bridal suite at the El Greco in Santorini (Fira), Greece

I brought my favourite products for the big day – tried and true – ready for the heat!

Meanwhile, outside the day was shaping up to be incredibly idyllic. El Greco Resort, Santorini.

At the wedding venue, Oceanides, with my lovely wife. Just a little over a year ago, we married in Toronto, Ontario.

Delicious food and fresh local ingredients.

Honey, sesame and cheese…

By the time the ‘main’ course of whole grilled fish came to our table, we were so satisfied and full!

Plates for breaking. Opa!

The bride’s hair and some behind the scenes NON-professional close-ups.

The bride.

Braids and twists were the inspiration for this Grecian look. Heat-proof hair was on the ‘must have’ list.

At the venue, the sea took center stage as the gorgeous backdrop for their vows.

Our friendship goes back to 7th grade. She looked absolutely stunning, head to toe.

A rose between two thorns.

The day after the wedding; the bride, Lindsay, was ready to relax on the beach. Tunic/beach coverup from Muska - Thira, Santorini.

The day after the wedding; the bride, Lindsay, was ready to relax on the beach. If only we all looked this fresh the day after ‘the big day’! Beach cover-up from Muska – Thira, Santorini.

11261815_723368613233_2711489959520049817_n

Getting ready for their close-ups. Olive branch head garlands.

11701060_723368548363_9192484693858161290_n

The flower girl looks on as her step-mom-to-be gets her make-up done.

10501774_723368503453_7512806264888885834_n

Finishing touches.

And… Opa! Here are the final photos of the stunning bride (and groom!)

Lindsay and Rob – Santorini wedding.

Lindsay and Rob – Santorini wedding. Linds found a lovely local Nona to pose with.

Lindsay and Rob – Santorini wedding.

This is clearly why people fly half way around the world to get married. Stay tuned for photos from the Toronto reception. Coming soon…

First Blush – My Favourite Shade for a Ballet

style, Wedding

After being on stage, or attending a live performance, an after party needs a look that is soft and gorgeous. A dress that is easy to sit in, or slip into after a long performance, should be beautiful and look like it just stepped off the stage.

For the wrap party I put on my wrap dress in a soft blush, which looked great against flushed skin and the remnants of my washed-off stage makeup. I topped the cross back slip of a dress with a sequined tulle bolero.

Bonus points for pulling off this shade at a wedding. Blush for all seasons.

First Blush – My Favourite Shade for a Ballet by jc-alison featuring a cream dress

Yes to the Dress

Wedding

I worried that I wasn’t going to have that tearful, this is it! moment. That unlike so many television brides-to-be, I wouldn’t know when I’d found my dress. I did know a few things though:

I would rather be comfortable than look ‘skinny’.

I wanted to have a dress that I could wear all night.

I didn’t want to need help going pee.

The hefty price tag of my dress wouldn’t be a bragging right.

I was deeply uncomfortable about the idea of spending half a month’s salary (or more) on a dress, no matter how important.

As soon as you say ‘wedding’ the price soars on most things you can think of: flowers, meals, alcohol prices, photography, shoes, accessories, cards, underwear… and definitely THE DRESS.

It’s hard NOT to feel beautiful in dresses that cost twenty times the price of things you wear in regular life. I liked them ALL, with some exceptions, and I was lucky that my small bust and tall frame meant that if it fit around my body it looked pretty good. I didn’t face the complicated support and lift issues that more ample, curvaceous brides might have to deal with, or issues of hemming. How do you know what dress is the one when they all feel so pretty?

At the time I had red hair and the contrast was striking; pale skin, red hair and cream, off white, blush… satin, lace, tulle… it was a mini nightmare of choice overload.

The aha moment came when I picked up an unlikely candidate in grey – it was a party dress, very theatrical and almost like a ballet costume. As I picked it up, I noticed that its petal pink, blush and oyster counterpart was hanging behind it. I added it to the pile. As soon as I got it on I felt like a little girl, gleeful in my desire to spin. It went quickly from ‘love this’ to ‘maybe this is the one’ to ‘this is it.’

It also really helped that it was less than half the price of other gowns. I let my gut decide and my budget concurred with a sigh of relief. I had been adamant that I wasn’t going to get suckered into a big ticket dress. This dress wasn’t what I thought I’d find, but very strangely, it had everything that I had been looking for: it was not white, it was soft and romantic, interesting and unusual, light, one shoulder, no corset, open back, the illusion of strapless without the constant need to hoist, and even before being taken in it felt magical.

The first look. It felt so light and dreamy. I knew if heels were going to come into play we’d need to stitch in a few extra layers of tulle to add length.

Moment of truth: is this the way I want to feel and look when I walk down the aisle. It seemed too easy. Yes.

Give it a spin. With the full skirt and one shoulder strap I felt certain that dancing all night wouldn’t be a problem. The flowers at the waist were removable, too.

I had a sheepish face on when I realized how excited I had gotten. I guess that’s how you know. Even before alterations, which my mom’s neighbour completed for us at very minimal cost, and adding four inches of tulle layering to the hem, it feel really amazing and so comfortable – like I’d stepped out of a fairy tale. Mine.

It even matched the drawing I had sketched out months before I started the hunt, quite closely.When I was all ‘jacked up’ as they say, even the Iphone photos capture it pretty clearly – this was definitely a dress to which I could say an emphatic ‘yes.’

Three hours to show time. Getting ready at the Grand Hotel.

Accessorized and ready: Something old, something new, something borrowed… something blue not pictured here.

Ultimately, the dress I wore was the right pick, even though many more traditional and some very modern dresses felt beautiful, I went with the one that gave me a thrill. Good luck on your hunt!

Say Yes: Step 1 of Dress Shopping – Inspiration

Wedding

Before our wedding I found myself immersed in the “Say Yes To The Dress” frenzy of looking for the perfect one, while simultaneously being repelled by the astronomical price of these one-time-only frocks. As a fan of vintage and re-used clothing, of hand-me-downs from my mom and grandma, as well as the ‘look longingly with a sigh’ window shopping of online and magazine page-turning… I was at a loss for an answer to the big question: how can I find a dress that is personal, unique and beautiful, at a price that I can feel comfortable about (knowing that I’m on a self-imposed budget AND that I’m likely to spill something on myself… cause that’s just the kind of girl I am)? I culled inspiration from all sorts of places: Etsy, Pinterest, Bridal Magazines (given to me in stacks by previously married friends). I was definitely also interested in a second-hand gown from one of the many dress donation charities. But, where do you start?

I Pinned. Well, first I drew. I sketched my perfect dress. Then I started a folder of Pinterest images and tore out pictures from magazines until I had a really clear sense of what I was drawn to. Then I started to distill that down to what I liked AND could see myself in. What looks great in pictures doesn’t always mean that it’s a good fit for you, your body, your wedding venue, etc. I also had the added challenge of finding a dress that would coordinate with the UNSEEN dress my wife would be wearing.

Guiding words: romantic, whimsical, vintage, soft, comfortable to dance in. Like a vintage photograph or a bouquet of faded flowers. Key colours for our day: Blush, taupe, cream, gold and pewter.

Confident that our visions were aligned, and with my sister-in-law as the go between stylist, we set out. Ultimately, when I look back, the dress I got was strangely similar to my original sketch, even though I’d put it in the back of my mind once we started looking at actual dresses. From start to finish. Here is some of the inspiration and the final result.

I loved the idea of a low back and looser fit. Flowing fabric and a dance-floor-floor friendly cut.

Something vintage with a bit of glimmer and glitz. I loved this look, but worried (after years of dance competitions) that sequins are both hot and scratch delicate upper arms!

Something vintage-inspired with a bit of glimmer and glitz. I loved this look, but worried (after years of dance competitions) that sequins can be hot, and make the dress weigh a ton, but also have the potential to scratch delicate upper arms!

Sweet and simple. Eden // Rose Gold Sequinned, Backless Wedding Dress
$1,850.00 CAD – Truvelle

Romantic wedding dress with a floral belt and fluttery sleeve.
$413.12 CAD
Barzelai

Fall Brittany Wedding Dress Gown-Gorgeous A-line champange sweetheart floor length
$2,754.13 CAD
TingBridal. I absolutely love the colour and vintage feel of this dress. The soft hem and peplum, with the sweetheart neck seemed in keeping with our vintage theme.

Low-back Grecian draped by Whitesrose

Gorgeous detailing and intricate back: a little exotic, a little art-deco. Inspired Wedding dress reception dress flapper alternative backless dress. $749.87

This dress has a very theatrical flare that reminds me of ballet costumes… and actually resembles quite closely the dress I ended up purchasing. Strapless tulle and organza princess wedding dress. Lemandywedding.

Sweet Gatsby detailing and flattering cut. French Lace Cap Sleeve Empire Waist Sweetheart Neckline Wedding gown,Illusion Neckline, Layered Chiffon Skirt, The “Isabella” Gown by Schone
$2,724.09 CAD

I fell in love with the delicate, fragility and texture of this ecru coloured gown. The flattering detail at the bust and the irregular hem was so reminiscent of a ballet costume that I almost caved and ordered it online. Alice- Silk Chiffon Wedding Gown
$3,317.48 CAD
Leanimal

Full length.

Starting to notice a trend in fabric, cut and back detailing. Ruffled Silk Wedding Dress – Lori
$625.94 CAD
SaintIsabel

Very Duchess of Cambridge: This one has it all… flow, shape skimming cut and romantic details.

The bigger the skirt, the … harder to get through a crowd. This cupcake dress was, surprisingly, the furthest thing from what I thought I’d want, but when I started trying on dresses, I found that these dresses really produced the lash-fluttering effect I’d been hoping for. Maybe all that time in dance costumes had an impact after all!

Seeing some similarities emerging: off-white, soft skirts and layers, sweetheart necks, bare shoulder(s) and back, waist details… Custom Wedding Gown- Summer Sunshine-Alencon lace and tulle A-line floor length wedding dress-made to order: $2,253.38 CAD
TingBridal

Sometimes the photos I was drawn to were more about the mood: Romance and a story, told through the details. This pic has a timeless quality and softness that exudes intimacy, despite the wide-openness of the setting.

Proof in the pudding – the inspiration found its way into the final choice.

My tulle-skirted, one shoulder gown, in blush, with a paper bouquet and Granny’s vintage fur. Photography: Sweetheart Empire.

Soft? Check. Romantic? Check.

And the palette worked out perfectly, even with our bridal party, who all wore different variations of our colour scheme. Timeless, but so now. I love these photos as much a year later as I did on the day. But, I’m biased.

And the details came together beautifully, even though we hadn’t seen each other’s dress before hand. Photography: Sweetheart Empire.

Stay tuned for Step 2 and 3, as well as future Wedding Planning posts.

The Times, They Are a Changing

Love, Open Letters, Wedding

All photos from my own wedding are courtesy of Kate O’Connor at http://sweetheartempire.com/

—

Anyone who grows up … in North America, knows the story. You grow up, you fall in love… you get married. I certainly applaud those who challenge the narrative and, yes, there are problems with ‘the institution,’ but one of the things that shows how much progress we have made, as a nation (Canada and others) is the right to choose. Marriage. No, we are not defined by our decision to join our life with someone else, and yes, you can be whole and fulfilled without being paired, or procreating. But for so long, queer relationships were defined by their inability to participate in the beautiful, emotionally fulfilling, symbolic step of sharing the joy of your relationship with those you love and having your community show their support for that union.

Today I saw an article about a dazzling couple, who celebrated in a fusion of Western and Indian traditions: http://the-daily.buzz/americas-first-indian-lesbian-wedding/?ts_pid=2

This beautiful couple has helped to raise the profile for couples everywhere who want to marry the one they love, while celebrating their culture.

And the diversity is plain to see.

A colourful union, between two brides with a female officiant.

Two traditional dresses challenge the ‘who is wearing the tux’ assumption.

Playing with conventions and gender in a classic pose.

Hard landscape, sweet emotion.

Picture perfect little love birds.

Tattoos and lace, faux-hawk and a smitten grin.

One of the most beautiful parts of any wedding are the small details and traditions that couples integrate into their special day, to reflect their relationship, interests and cultures. For queer couples, although many face sadness and hardship around life moments that can bring difference and non-acceptance into harsh contrast, there are (at least) two things to be very thankful for: they have found the person they want to join their life with, and they have a chance to shape new traditions and challenge existing ones that might seem like a given for heterosexual couples.

Here are a few highlights from our special day.

10262230_10154230398285188_1918840415007566811_n

Allia didn’t want us to see the other’s dress. So it was an incredible surprise to see how beautifully our dresses complimented one another; and seeing her for the first time made my jaw hit the floor. She got to decide that I would walk first, accompanied by my father, while her brother escorted her, second, down the aisle to meet me.

10336595_10154230401425188_3400597416646174203_n

It was hard for us not to have her parents involved in the wedding, so we turned the traditional father daughter dance into a ‘first dance’ with someone you love. I danced with my amazing dad, and she danced with her siblings to “Stand By Me.”

10339583_10154230393445188_4522562946590370419_n

We had our friend, Riaz, an unordained ‘un-officiant’ perform our ceremony. Including some humour, our delightful friend married us from atop an apple box, because we are both 5’10 and … my wife met Riaz when they both worked in the film industry.

10373990_10154230406090188_2574176976606520860_n

The music was varied and personalized, with French and “Midnight in Paris” inspired music during the pre-ceremony, Bossa-Nova and Bossa-Marley (a throwback to our time in Spain) during cocktails. We both insisted that our dresses be comfortable enough to dance in, and we had a roaring dance party to celebrate, with tunes from Oldies (which we love to cook to), to indie-electro and some Bob Marley (of course, for her Jamaican heritage).

10401961_10154230393020188_6008155540540248797_n

We opted for a converted historic church building, with the sunlight streaming in.

10406465_10154230399275188_5431734311917571318_n

There was a surprise during dinner: amidst the childhood photos and slideshow – a video of our proposal. An onstage karaoke request for her hand in marriage. We had wine cork wreaths and all of our bridesmaids carried handmade paper bouquets by a local artisan.

10375981_315183368634789_2241658792468907924_n

We decided to forgo the awkwardly posed shots and, instead, to go SUPER posed, for a Vanity Fair/Netflix inspired editorial look. All of our bridal party members got to choose their own attire, from a palette of colours for a vintage, soft look, with a cohesive, romantic tone. We wore two of my grandma’s vintage furs, and all of the bridesmaids were able to re-wear their dresses. Given that there was no ‘groom,’ we had no ‘groomsmen,’ but each of us had our brother step in as our ‘best man.’

10006929_10154052613325554_2990419069315654910_n

There is a special place in our hearts for our gay boy friends; our ‘g-ushers’ helped to usher in the guests (except for my brother-in-law), and wore handmade bow ties made by one of my former students.

10151211_10152379722568970_8776034716739306124_n (1)

What is more fun than some rubber masks? As a late-night surprise, to go with the arrival of the poutine bar, panda, giraffe, unicorn, owl and horse masks turned up on the dance floor. It was the weirdest, most magical dance party, as well as tying in some of the animal themed elements from the day and creating some great candid shots.

I Heart You

Art, DIY, Love, Wedding

One of my favourite personalized details from our wedding day, almost a year ago, was the custom heart that my designer friend, Katey, created for us. She is a stylist, ceramic artist and all-round creative genius and, knowing our penchant for DIY touches, she asked if she might be able to make us something special.

Photo Credit: Sweetheartempire.com, Heart by Katherine Morley, Location: Berkeley Church, Toronto.

The results were amazing and the decorative heart, emblazoned with our names, became a key piece of our wedding day puzzle.

Berkeley Church, Toronto. Photo Credit: Sweetheart Empire, Toronto (Kate O’Connor). Heart by Katherine Morley.

Check out her beautiful designs on everything from ‘Capacity’ – a carefully curated collection of art and design by female designers in Toronto, to her ceramic sculptures for fish tanks (which address the issues surrounding human impact on our oceans and the depletion of sea coral, while providing a gorgeous, sustainable landscape for fish to explore).

Katherine Morley in her studio.

Sculptural pieces with form and function.

More of her creative pieces, featured in House & Home, including her circus-inspired ceramics, and Iceberg book ends that evoke the Group of Seven.

Supporting local artists, especially ones who are socially conscious and engaged in their community, is a great way to fill your home, event and life, in general, with good vibes, originality and beauty.

StyleSaVie

Life lived beautifully.

Wedding

A thousand words. Photography to capture the magic of a wedding day.

Bouquet Toss

Stepping Out – Bridal Shoes for the Romantic Bride

Wedding Bells: Getting Ready In Style

Santorini Destination Wedding

First Blush – My Favourite Shade for a Ballet

Yes to the Dress

Say Yes: Step 1 of Dress Shopping – Inspiration

The Times, They Are a Changing

I Heart You